Scene 31
- A little freaked out by her dream, and finally (perhaps) coming to her senses, Buttercup swears to Humperdinck that, if he still insists on marrying her in ten days' time, she'll kill herself before he even has the chance.
- Humperdinck, whose plotting-and-scheming antennae are way up, makes her a deal that he'll send his four fastest ships after Westley's boat (oooh, lies upon lies), and if he still wants her, he can have her.
- But if he doesn't show up before the wedding, Buttercup must at least consider marrying Humperdinck "as an alternative to suicide." It's a close call, but she's in.
Scene 32
- Humperdinck and Rugen are going for a stroll in the woods when we learn that Humperdinck had actually hired Vizzini to kill the princess.
- It turns out his plan was to frame Guilder for her death so that he would have an excuse to get Florin involved in a war against their mortal enemy. Ugh…we want to hate this guy. If only he didn't have such a sweet head of hair.
- Arriving at a tree, Rugen presses a knob and a door opens inward—a door that leads into the Pit of Despair. Treehouses were so last year.
Scene 33
- Westley has been hooked up to an ugly-looking contraption that probably doesn't administer soothing lower back massages. It's called "The Machine," and Rugen uses it to suck one year of Westley's life away. Hopefully it was the year he was fourteen. That's always a rough one.
Scene 34
- Humperdinck informs Yellin, his chief enforcer and no relation to Federal Reserve chairwoman Janet Yellin, that killers from Guilder are planning on murdering his wife-to-be, setting the stage for his big frame job.
- He orders the Thieves' Forest emptied and everyone arrested. How thoughtful of all the kingdom's thieves to congregate in a single place. Should make them so much easier to round up.
Scene 35
- On the day of the wedding, the prince's brute squad goes around snatching up everyone in the Thieves' Forest; everyone except a Spaniard who's "giving them some trouble." That either has to be Inigo or Enrique Iglesias. Our money's on Inigo.