How It All Goes Down
- Rachel cradles her baby, Jacob, and wonders about him as she walks to Widow Jenkins's house.
- Since her mom left when she was five, Rachel doesn't know much about raising kids, so she asks Widow Jenkins everything she needs to know.
- The old lady is stern but kind. She helps Rachel out when she can, but is never afraid to speak her mind.
- Rachel has given Jacob her dad's last name—Harmon—instead of Pemberton. This way he's more connected to her, which she likes.
- Jacob has been fussy in the morning, but the widow tells her it's probably nothing to worry about. Rachel decides to take her horse into town for some business.
- As she rides, she remembers the time she spent with Pemberton.
- He would ask his men to stand guard so no one caught them in the act. She knew this was wrong somehow, but she did it anyway.
- She didn't care about the mean looks she got from the townsfolk or the judgments from her friends. She was in love… Or so she thought.
- In town, Rachel sells the horse to a guy who promises not to pick it up until that weekend, and then she uses the money from the sale to buy some stuff at the pharmacy for Jacob. She doesn't want him to get sick and she knows his teeth are probably coming in.
- She goes into a store where a headstone for her dad is waiting. She wanted him to have a proper one that read "Stone Mason" on it, and it came out nicely.
- When she tells the guy she doesn't have money to buy the stone, he trades her for her saddle.
- The guy knew her dad, and we get that he's just being nice to her, especially when he offers to plant the marker for her, too.
- Rachel rides back home and thinks about her dad. She tries to remember a happy time with him, but most of the time he was awkward or angry.
- He tried, though, and that's what counts. Finally, she recalls a time when the two of them watched a large silver moth together. It was something special to her.
- As she remembers that time, she considers how it's not hard to lose people if you don't love them.
- With that, she decides to not love her child. This way she won't be sad if he's taken away. Good luck with that theory, Rach.