Quote 21
I want to kill him. (56.12)
Andy seems to consider being a violent predator a full-time job. Melinda is starting to feel more than fear and disgust of Andy. She's starting to feel like returning his violence.
Quote 22
I reach in and wrap my fingers around a triangle of glass. I hold it to Andy Evans neck. […] I push just hard enough to raise one drop of blood. […] I want to insert the glass all the way through his throat. I want to hear him scream. (87.20)
Melinda uses violence to defend herself. This is a scary but empowering experience for her.
Quote 23
I'm definitely back at Rachel's, crimping my hair and gluing on fake nails, and he smells like beer and mean and he hurts me hurts me hurts me and gets up
and zips his jeans
and smiles. (63.15-17)
This is Melinda remembering how she felt as she was raped. Very violent stuff. Melinda remembers these details after turning down pizza with David Petrakis and his parents, because she's afraid he'll try to hurt her. Why does David's invitation push Melinda to remember?
Quote 24
An apple tree growing from an apple seed growing in an apple. I show the little plantseed to Ms. Keen. She gives me extra credit, David roles his eyes. Biology is so cool. (30.12)
In biology class Melinda learns to look closely at nature. Or her close attention to nature makes her a natural at biology. Seeing the sprouted apple seed seems to sooth Melinda. Why might this be?
Quote 25
They offer me a deal. If I volunteer to teach Basketball Pole how to swish a foul shot, I will get an automatic A in gym. I shrug my shoulders and they grin. I couldn't say no. I couldn't say anything. I just won't show up. (35.12)
Melinda learns that she's a talented athlete, good with a ball. Sports don't play a huge role in her recovery, but knowing she's good has to give her a much needed self-esteem boost.
Quote 26
His room is cool central. He keeps the radio on. We are allowed to eat as long as we work. He bounced a couple of slackers who confused freedom with no rules, so the rest of us don't make waves. It's too fun to give up. (36.2)
We here at Shmoop are outraged at these shenanigans. OK, seriously, we don't see why people can't be comfy while they learn.
Quote 27
Maya taps me on the shoulder. I'm not listening. […] I need to do something about Rachel, something for her. Maya tells me without saying anything. (70.6)
An unspecified book by Maya Angelou is banned by the school board. Maybe that's why Melinda doesn't seem to have actually read her work. Yet, she imagines Maya Angelou giving her some really good advice. The advice actually comes from inside Melinda.
Quote 28
(We wonder if the book that the school board banned was Angelou's autobiography, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, in which Angelou describes being sexually abused.)
I look at my homely sketch. It doesn't need anything. Even through the river in my eyes I can see that. It isn't perfect and that makes it just right. (89.10)
This is Melinda with her final tree. She considers it "homely," a word with many meanings, including ugly, plain, and unpretentious. She's come to believe that art isn't always about beauty, or some elusive definition of perfection.
Quote 29
There is no point in looking for my ex-friends. Our clan, the Plain Janes, has been splintered and the pieces are being absorbed by rival factions. (1.9)
At first, it sounds like Melinda has just drifted away from her old friends. We soon learn there's more to it. In terms of Ivy and Nicole, this might actually be the case.
Quote 30
If there is anyone in this entire galaxy I am dying to tell what happened, It's Rachel. My throat burns. (1.10)
This early moment shows how much Melinda values her friendship with Rachel. We also see the start of Melinda's sore throat. It seems like Melinda is <em>burning</em> to speak, but can't manage it. Or maybe her case of nerves is making acid in her stomach, which burns her throat.
Quote 31
I see a few friends—people I used to think were my friends—but they look away. (3.4)
Aha! Melinda is definitely on lots of people's bad sides. <em>Speak</em> is very much a book about struggling to make, find, keep, and honor friends. This quote shows how hard that can be.
Quote 32
Think fast, think fast. That's the new girl, Heather, reading by the window. I could sit across from her. Or I could crawl behind a trash can. (3.4)
Melinda's not exactly bubbling over with enthusiasm to hang with Heather. The party where she lost all her friends happened no more than a month ago. She's still concerned with her old friendships. Heather gets caught in this crossfire.
Quote 33
Rachelle blows a candy cigarette smoke ring at my face. Blows me off. I have been dropped like a hot Pop Tart on a cold kitchen floor. (9.14)
Rachel spends most of the novel experimenting with different personas. She's changed her name to Rachelle and hangs out with foreign exchange students. This strikes us as a good thing – except for the fact that she's becoming less sensitive to others.
Quote 34
She is not any part of a pretend Rachelle-chick. I can only see third grade Rachel who liked barbeque potato chips and who braided pink […] thread into my hair that I wore for months until my mom made me take it out. (69.6)
Melinda never stops caring about Rachel. Remembering Rachel as a much younger girl makes Melinda realize how vulnerable she is to Andy.
Quote 35
Mom took me to the hospital to stitch up the cut on my hand. When we got home, there was a message on the machine from Rachel. She wants me to call her. (89.4)
Knowing how Melinda feels about Rachel, her message probably means everything to Melinda.
Quote 36
I get out of my bed and take down the mirror. I put it back in my closet, facing the wall. (6.11)
Not being able to look at one's own face in the mirror is a sign of deep sadness.
Quote 37
My goal is to go home and take a nap. (10.10)
The more depressed Melinda gets, the more she needs to sleep. Paradoxically, the more depressed she gets, the harder it is to sleep at night when she's at home.
Quote 38
The salt from my tears feels good when it stings my lips. I wash my face until there is nothing left of it, no eyes, no nose, no mouth. A slick nothing. (21.20)
This is how Melinda feels after Siobhan Falls, a mean Martha, callously talks about Melinda's bitten lips like she's not even in the room.
Quote 39
I almost tell them right then and there. Tears flood my eyes. They've noticed I've been trying to draw. They notice. I try to swallow the snowballs in my throat. (33.9)
More tears – these tears seem a sign of happiness and sadness at the same time. Melinda is happy her parents are that aware of her and sad she can't express the truth of her heart to them.
Quote 40
She says suicide is for cowards. This is an uglynasty Momside. She bought a book about it. Tough love. Barbed velvet. Silent talk. (43.10)
Melinda thinks about Mom's reaction to the scratches Melinda makes on her wrists with a paperclip. Melinda isn't exactly suicidal. Mom is trying to find help for Melinda in books. Sadly, the books she reads don't help her recognize what Melinda is going through.