How we cite our quotes: (Book.Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
He felt it in a manner his duty to think out his state, to approve the process, and when he came in fact to trace the steps and add up the items they sufficiently accounted for the sum. (2.2.3)
Early in the book, Strether budgets out the exact amount of fun he'll allow himself to have, and can't even think of going over budget. The idea of just letting himself go and enjoying life is too much to ask. He's an anxious dude, and the sheer fact that he's enjoying the freedom of travelling alone makes him feel like he's betraying his duty to Mrs. Newsome. It's like he needs her permission to enjoy life.
Quote #2
It was only a sign, but enough: she was going to be gracious and unallusive, she was going to play the larger game—which was still more apparent, after she had emerged from Chad's arms, in her direct greeting to the valued friend of her family. (8.2.1)
When Sarah first arrives in Paris, it takes only a glance from Strether to realize that she won't come out guns blazing and order Chad to go home. She's going to play along with the whole charade of going to Madame de Vionnet's parties and pretending to judge without prejudice. But behind all that she's got tunnel vision for her duty to Mrs. Newsome, which prevents her from enjoying anything Paris has to offer.
Quote #3
'Oh I've not let myself go very far,' Strether answered, feeling quite as if he had been called upon to hint to Mrs. Pocock how Parisians could talk. (8.3.6)
When Madame de Vionnet tells Sarah that Strether has totally submitted to the pleasures of Paris, Strether is quick to add that he hasn't let himself go too much. Nice save, dude. He wants Sarah to feel that his loyalties still lie with Mrs. Newsome, and actually enjoying himself in Paris would be a total betrayal of that loyalty.
Quote #4
'On the contrary; she's pleased with it as with his capacity to do this kind of thing—more than she has been pleased with anything for a long time. But she wants him to show it there. He has no right to waste it on the likes of us.' (10.1.7)
Bilham tells Strether that Sarah Pocock is lying when she says she doesn't approve of Chad's transformation. On the contrary, she approves of it way too much. But her duties are still to Woollett, and she wants Chad to return there so that the small town can enjoy the full benefit of his new charm.
Quote #5
'[W]hat is it you conduct but an outrage to women like us? I mean your acting as if there can be a doubt—as between us and such another—of his duty?' (10.3.10)
Sarah Pocock is downright offended at Strether's suggestion that Chad might have a personal duty to both his family and Madame de Vionnet. For Sarah, Chad's only duty is to his family because his family (including Sarah) is the moral center of the universe. As you can see, Sarah may just be a tad prejudiced. But this prejudice gives her a really strong idea of what she thinks is Chad's duty.
Quote #6
'My instructions from Mrs. Newsome are, if you please, my affair. You know perfectly what your own were, and you can judge for yourself of what it can do for you to have made what you have of them.' (10.3.10)
Sarah calls Strether out pretty hard-core for neglecting his duties to Mrs. Newsome. He was sent to Paris with a very clear job to do, but now he's doing the exact opposite of that job by trying to convince Chad to stay in Paris. By the by, let's not forget that Mrs. Newsome pays Strether's salary. It makes sense that Sarah would think Strether has a duty toward her mother. That and the whole being engaged thing.
Quote #7
'Of course they're totally different kinds of duty.' (10.3.11)
Strether tries to argue with Sarah by saying that there are different kinds of duty. In other words, Chad has duties to his family, but also to Madame de Vionnet because she is responsible for all of his improvement as a person. Of course, Strether doesn't realize at this point that Sarah doesn't approve of Chad's transformation at all. When it comes to duty, they're speaking two different languages.
Quote #8
'You can sacrifice mothers and sisters to her without a blush, and can make them cross the ocean on purpose to feel the more, and take from you the straighter, how you do it?' (10.3.14)
As Strether continues to talk with Sarah, it becomes pretty obvious that there's no argument he can possibly make that'll convince her of Chad's duty to Madame de Vionnet. Sarah regards Chad's desertion of his family as a total abomination. Period. No more discussion. She's a total brick wall when it comes to this issue.
Quote #9
'You owe her everything—very much more than she can ever owe you. You've in other words duties to her, of the most positive sort; and I don't see what other duties—as the other are presented to you—can be held to go before them.' (12.4.34)
In their final conversation, Strether tells Chad that he (Chad) owes everything to Madame de Vionnet. Chad still has a lingering sense of duty to return to his family in Woollett, but Strether tells him in very clear terms that his duty now lies with being a loving partner to Madame de Vionnet. This is big news! It's the exact opposite of what Strether believed at the beginning of the book.
Quote #10
Honest and fine, she couldn't greatly pretend she didn't see it. Still she could pretend just a little. 'But why should you be so dreadfully right?' (12.5.55)
It's only at the end of this novel that Maria Gostrey can finally admit to the deep feelings she has for Strether. While other characters have lied to him, Maria has always helped him in whatever way she could (sure, even if she did bend the truth once or twice). She's loyal and devoted, which is what makes it tough for Strether to leave. After all, he has his own sense of duty, which has been crushed by finding out the truth about Chad and Madame de Vionnet.