How we cite our quotes: (Book.Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
[A]nd it was absolutely true of him that—even after the close of the period of conscious detachment occupying the centre of his life, the great middle desert of the two deaths, that of his wife and that, ten years later, of his boy—he had never taken any one anywhere. (2.1.4)
These lines can be easy to miss in this massive book. But they're crucial for understanding Strether as a character. It turns out the dude once had a family—a wife and son—but they died ten years apart. That means that Strether has been all alone in the world for a long time. It makes sense, then, that he might have eventually moved toward a strong woman like Mrs. Newsome to give him a sense of direction in life.
Quote #2
'He's a young man on whose head high hopes are placed at Woollett; a young man a wicked woman has got hold of and whom his family over there have sent you out to rescue.' (2.1.5)
When Maria feels like she understands Chad's family well enough, she repeats it all back to Strether. And as she tells us, Strether is like an ambassador sent from a country led by Mrs. Newsome to bring back Chad. Like we've mentioned, the Newsomes have a lot invested in Chad running the family business, and they'll do just about anything to get him back.
Quote #3
'Quite all. His father has been dead ten years, and there's no brother, nor any sister. They'd do,' said Strether, 'anything in the world for him.' (2.1.35)
Strether lays out the Newsome family situation for Maria in order to help her understand just how much the family has invested in Chad's success. His dad's been gone for ten years, meaning that there's been no man around at all for the family (no one's exactly counting Strether for this role). Strether can also hazard a guess why a dude wouldn't exactly jump at the opportunity to fill this role, since the Newsome women can be very aggressive and controlling.
Quote #4
'Is it perhaps then because it's so bad—because your industry, as you call it, is so vulgar—that Mr. Chad won't come back? Does he feel that taint?' (2.1.78)
Maria Gostrey isn't so sure that Chad has left his family because of some evil woman. Instead, she wonders if Chad's embarrassed to be taking over a family business that makes…well, we never find that out—but whatever it is, it's something silly enough for Strether to avoid saying what it is. And maybe that can eve transcend family ties.
Quote #5
He thought it over and his gravity returned. 'Is it a refinement not to answer his mother's letters?' (2.1.177)
Sure, Strether learns to take Chad's side as the book unfolds. But let's not forget that at the beginning, Strether has drunk the Newsome family Kool-Aid. He's totally brainwashed into believing that Mrs. Newsome is the moral center of the universe and that her son is a good-for-nothing jerk for deserting her. Heck, he could send a tweet from time to time.
Quote #6
The mother's eagerness with which Madame de Vionnet jumped at this was to come back to him later as beautiful in its grace. 'The dear thing did please you?' Then as he met it with the largest 'Oh!' of enthusiasm: 'She's perfect. She's my joy.' (6.1.65)
Madame de Vionnet is a calm, controlled woman. But when it comes to gushing about her daughter Jeanne, she can't help herself. As far as she's concerned, Jeanne is the greatest human being in the whole world. Normally, you'd think this kind of motherly pride was fairly annoying. But coming from Madame, it's somewhat graceful. Plus, a much nicer view of what family ties can look like, in contrast to the spite-hurling Newsomes.
Quote #7
What none the less came to him, however, at this hour, was that the society over there, that of which Sarah and Mamie—and, in a more eminent way, Mrs. Newsome herself—were specimens, was essentially a society of women, and that poor Jim wasn't in it. (8.2.12)
Strether feels bad for poor Jim Pocock, although he's not sure why at first. As he spends more time with the man, though, he realizes that Jim has married into a family that's completely dominated by women, and not the type who just wanna have fun. They make the decisions and set the rules, and there's not much for Jim to do apart from what he's told by Sarah. This is the same family fate that Strether needs to avoid by separating himself from Mrs. Newsome.
Quote #8
[Jim] gurgled his joy as they rolled through the happy streets; he declared that his trip was a regular windfall, and that he wasn't there, he was eager to remark, to hang back from anything. (8.2.13)
As you can tell from the word, "gurgle," Jim feels as happy as a baby when he gets in a cab with Strether and realizes that he's going to have some time away from his wife in Paris. Poor Jim is desperate for the same sense of freedom that Strether has felt in this great city, and getting away from Sarah and her mom seems to be the only way of doing it.
Quote #9
'[W]hat is you conduct by an outrage to women like, us? I mean your acting as if there can be a doubt—as between us and such another—of his duty?' (10.3.10)
For Sarah, there should be no doubt about where Chad's duty lies. The fact that he's living an interesting life with people he cares for doesn't matter. She's his flesh and blood and his responsibility is to her and her mother. Besides, the Newsomes have a family business to maintain, and it's Chad's job as the only son to carry on his father's legacy.
Quote #10
'You can sacrifice mothers and sisters to her without a blush, and can make them cross the ocean on purpose to feel the more, and take from you the straighter, how you do it?' (10.3.14)
When Strether tries to convince Sarah that Madame de Vionnet is a good person, Sarah acts like a total brick wall. She's not going to give an inch on anything here: the Newsomes are the best people in the world, and everyone else is bad. It's really just that simple. That's what you call family pride.