ShmoopTube
Where Monty Python meets your 10th grade teacher.
Search Thousands of Shmoop Videos
Writing Videos 89 videos
Want even more deets on wordiness? Click here to review. Or take a look at our entire grammar section for all the goods.
Want even more deets on tenses? Click here to review. Or take a look at our entire grammar section for all the goods.
Want even more deets on semicolons? Click here to review. Or take a look at our entire grammar section for all the goods.
Wordiness 15167 Views
Share It!
Description:
Want even more deets on wordiness? Click here to review. Or take a look at our entire grammar section for all the goods.
Transcript
- 00:04
Wordiness, a la Shmoop. Mr. Zazzles, the algebra teacher, has some
- 00:09
bad news that's truly terrible.
- 00:11
He just wants to let his students know that they're going to have to go ahead and do
- 00:17
those fifty problems from page 127 for homework during the Thanksgiving holiday.
- 00:21
If Mr. Zazzles' students don't break out the pitchforks and torches over his homework
Full Transcript
- 00:25
assignment...
- 00:26
...they'll send him to the guillotine for his wordiness and redundancy.
- 00:31
When we want to get someone's attention or sound important, we sometimes shoehorn
- 00:35
extra words into our sentences. We get wordy.
- 00:42
Redundancy is a kind of wordiness. It involves saying the same thing in a sentence more than
- 00:46
once, and sometimes in a different way.
- 00:48
While wordiness and redundancy can be annoying to listen to...
- 00:51
...they are really annoying to encounter in written sentences.
- 00:54
For example, when Ms. Razzle the science teacher puts a note on a lab assignment that reads,
- 01:00
"It is absolutely essential that students not mix Chemical A with Chemical B, inasmuch
- 01:06
as that would cause a massive explosion"...
- 01:09
...she's guilty of wordiness.
- 01:11
The word "essential" doesn't need to be preceded by "absolutely"...
- 01:15
...and Ms. Razzle could have used "since" or "because" instead of "inasmuch as".
- 01:21
When Ms. Doe the cook puts a sign up at the beginning of the lunch line that reads,
- 01:26
"Owing to the fact that we made too much broccoli-spinach-and-cheese casserole today,
- 01:31
go ahead and take two helpings"...
- 01:33
...she's guilty of wordiness...
- 01:35
...not to mention crimes against vegetables and cheddar.
- 01:38
The phrase "owing to the fact" could be replaced with "because"...
- 01:42
...and that "go ahead" could be excised from Ms. Doe's sign altogether.
- 01:48
When Mr. Moe the history teacher puts in his syllabus, "The required midterm book
- 01:53
report has a required length of five pages"...
- 01:56
...he's guilty of redundancy.
- 01:58
A redundancy-free sentence might read, "The midterm book report must be five pages long."
- 02:05
When Mr. Yoe the English teacher leaves a note on the whiteboard that reads, "The
- 02:10
writing assignment for the day is to write a poem about writing"...
- 02:13
...he, too, is guilty of redundancy.
- 02:15
He might have written, "Today's assignment is to compose a poem about writing."
- 02:20
When Ms. Johnson the PE teacher...writes in her journal that the reason
- 02:24
she loves Thanksgiving break is because she doesn't have to even think about work...
- 02:29
...she's also guilty of redundancy.
- 02:32
A redundancy-free sentence would be rewritten to exclude either "the reason" or "is
- 02:36
because", as these two sets of words mean the same thing.
- 02:40
Wordiness and redundancy are easy to avoid. Just look for those extra words or phrases
- 02:45
that muddy up the construction or the meaning of a sentence...
- 02:48
...and snip-snip those suckers.
- 02:50
Now, if only Mr. Zazzles would learn that using unnecessary words to announce holiday
- 02:55
math homework does not make that homework less awful... or his students less vengeful...
Related Videos
This video defines a primary source and what makes it different from a secondary source. What counts as original material? And where can we find th...
Want even more deets on tenses? Click here to review. Or take a look at our entire grammar section for all the goods.
Want even more deets on semicolons? Click here to review. Or take a look at our entire grammar section for all the goods.
Asking questions can help spice up an essay. Just make sure you don't get too spicy and forget to answer those questions. You don't want to leave y...
This video defines parallel structure and analyzes what makes it powerful (spoiler alert: sticking to a consistent part of speech, like infinitives...