Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

Museum Docent. Salary: $30,000

The last student tour of the day has finally left, and you begin the end of your shift de-gumming all of the side rails in the foyer. You remember how your parents said history was full of wonder, and you begin wondering why you ever listened to them.

2
25%

Corporate Archivist. Salary: $40,000 

Surprisingly, the constant presence of your corporation's happy pink dinosaur mascot hasn't driven you insane yet. Unsurprisingly, you now dream all of the corporate speeches you catalogue with Plunky as the goofy spokesman. "Profits are dropping through the drumblebumping floor" indeed.

3
50%

Film Historian. Salary: $55,000

After getting locked in the film vault for two days, you've become a huge fan of macho westerns from the 1950s, as that was all you had left uncategorized. You've also grown an incredible moustache.

4
75%

University Archivist. Salary: $70,000 

You got your Ph.D., so what better way to celebrate than by never leaving school again? At least this way you know you'll always be the same amount of distance from those amazing pretzel rolls they serve in the student cafeteria.

5
95%

Government Archivist. Salary: $90,000

The President called. You're urgently needed at the National Archives. There was an "incident" involving the Constitution, a three-year-old, and a red crayon. You rush to the rescue, all the while cursing Bring Your Child to Work Day.