Coroner Career

Coroner Career

The Real Poop

You see dead people.

A lot.

It is your job, after all.

You are "the dead whisperer" and you Rue the Morgue.

Insert ominous, spooky music here.

As coroner, you will show up at the scene of the crime or accident, declare the body deader than a doornail, and explain what caused the end of life.

Yep, this one is definitely dead. Cause of death might have something to do with the metal rod shoved down his spine. (Source)

Maybe.

The thing is, a coroner technically doesn't have to be the one to do the autopsy. Many actively don't do it (unless there's nobody else who can do it, then you're sorta stuck). They do have to read the autopsy report, though. And some sleuthing could be involved in determining cause of death.

While some coroners double as medical examiners, others leave the digging to a forensic pathologist or an examiner.

The coroner's main job is to identify the body (as in "Yeps, that's there's a dead body you got right there there"), report cause of death, notify next of kin (as in making the call and asking someone to come down to the morgue to confirm identity), sign the death certificate, and return any personal effects on the dead body to the next of kin—so nobody runs off with the family jewelry, wallets, and other stuff like that.

The average salary for this cadaverous work varies by region, but tends to be about $65,000. Whether or not that's worth it is all up to you.

In olden days, (like before your parents were born), the coroner was called a "crowner" —because the King got all the dead guy's bootie. Now we're a bit more civilized and leave the "crowning" to estate taxes.

A coroner is an elected official. You don't even have to have a medical degree to be a coroner; you can just be Joe Schmo, disc golf champ, animal lover, and county coroner, so long as the county votes you as the man (or woman) who speaks to dead people.

That being said, some coroners do have a medical degree; it's just not always essential. Why? Just think about a coroner's patients: They're quiet, they don't disobey, and they're dead. It's not like you can do any more to hurt them. The job's pretty easy and straightforward if you live somewhere without much crime or drama.

Coroners work around the clock because you never know when somebody's gonna croak. You could be sipping piña coladas poolside when suddenly you need to drop everything to check out a dead body. It pays to be flexible in this position.

Unlike the coroner in Tru Calling, where Eliza Dushku touches people's hands and goes back in time to save them, most find the job to be rather quiet.

So if you need a job that gives you a lot of quiet time to work on your novel or catch up on your Netflix queue between bodies, this could totally be your dream job.

Word of advice, though: You definitely can't be skittish around dead people. That (understandably) wouldn't go over too well for this job. If you cover your eyes every time someone (or a dog) gets killed in a movie or you can't stand the sight of blood, this is probably not a good choice for you...unless you're up for a good challenge.