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Bell Curve


You scored four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High School. You work at a shoe store, drive a broken-down Dodge, and hang out in the garage with Griff, Bob Rooney, and the rest of the guys in "No Ma'am." You play for the semi-pro Chi-Town Blaze on the weekends. You make $100 a game. You spend $125 a week on Advil and Ace bandages.


You were a starter for the Columbus Lions of the American Indoor Football Association in 2009 until you tore up your knee. The league offered decent benefits, so your medical bills weren't too bad, but you didn’t make the team in 2010. You work in your dad's hardware store during the week and cold-call teams in every league you can think of on the weekends, looking for a tryout. Your knee stiffens up when the weather's cold. Or when it's hot. Or anywhere in between.


You played right guard for four teams in seven years in the NFL. Your help out with your son's high school football team. You invested your money from your playing days wisely, and make a comfortable living selling real estate, which has nothing to do with your football career at all. The scars from your six hip surgeries look kind of like the constellation Pegasus.


You're Tom Brady's backup.


You're Tom Brady.