Foreign Language Teacher
Average Salary: $43,510
Expected Lifetime Earnings: $1,816,000
The key word in the job description is "teacher," and if that clue doesn't tip you off, we don't know what will. Basically, if you don't mind living on peanuts, then you should be able to enjoy the real perks of the job: enriching the lives of your students. So that hopefully they won't have to live on peanuts.
The average salary for Foreign Language Teachers is between $40k-$70k. Not horrendous, but a pittance considering the importance of the job you perform. If it's any comfort to you, you’ll probably get benefits like health insurance, retirement, pay raises for extra academic degrees, etc. At least you'll be able to go to the hospital when you come down with explosive diarrhea from eating too many squeaky Styrofoam pieces (those peanuts you've been working for).
The good news is that you earn a bit more than a regular teacher thanks to your specialization in language. Naturally, you have to draw up about 75% more lesson plans than they do, but isn't it worth the extra green? Hopefully, if you want to get into this career you’re more interested in the personal, pat-yourself-on-the-back kind of achievements rather than the financial ones anyway. And hey, if you're a good enough teacher and win your students' hearts, they might invite you over for dinner. Failing that, you can always make it their final project to bring you a report on French cuisine, complete with a loaf of French bread and currant jam...it might not get you through the summer, but there are always food stamps and homeless shelters to turn to.
Speaking of the summer, unlike your poor math teacher compatriots, you might get asked to lead a group of students on a trip (and if you're really lucky, your way will be paid). You have to love adventure if you're willing to drag 15 culturally inept students to a foreign country. Word to the wise: Prepare them for severe McDonald's withdrawal, and take a lot of Hershey Kisses with you. It's bound to make for some fun stories to tell your friends.