Salary

Average Salary: $91,507

Expected Lifetime Earnings: $3,820,234


You might be surprised to discover that a place called the "Internal Revenue Service" has very specific guidelines when it comes to employee pay. You might also be surprised to find out the Pope is Catholic. If you are, congratulations, life is going to be full of wonder.

For the rest of you, let's get into the meat of this: How much payola can you make, and is it worth being one of the most hated (but incredibly necessary) people in America?

As a government agent, the Government Salary scale, or GS, dictates your pay. Across the government, levels from GS-1 to GS-15 give you a general pay range depending on experience and knowledge (source).

Your starting level depends on your education level; trainees with a couple years of college will start at GS-4 ($24,000-$31,000), whereas bachelors' degrees will get you to GS-5 ($27,000-$38,000). Graduate school will get you to GS-7 or GS-9, or over $60,000 base salary. You can rise through the ranks with more experience, like an RPG that levels you up in the best way possible—with cash.

But you're not just an agent—you've got the word special in your title. Shouldn't that mean you get treated like it? Special agents (a.k.a. Federal law enforcement officers) are entitled to Law Enforcement Availability Pay, or LEAP, which is what you'll do when you hear what it is. 

Basically, it's overtime pay—the government knows that you're going to be working far more than the standard forty hours a week. LEAP is there to make sure you get paid for ten hours every week, to the tune of 25% of your regular salary.

On top of that, the job will require you to live in a certain city (like D.C., L.A., or Atlanta) or country (like the U.K., Germany, or Iraq). You'll get paid a "locality" wage, which is money you get because it's more expensive to live there than in other places. Seriously, you get paid extra money because Los Angeles is pricey.

So, by adding your base salary, plus your LEAP, plus locality pay, you can see why the average salary is almost $100,000, with certain agents making closer to $200,000. Not a bad gig if you can swing it.