Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

Mail sorter. Salary: $31,200 or less

You examine the mail. You put the mail in the bag. You process the mail. You put the mail in the bag. You pick up the bag, and you put it over there. You get a new bag, and you put mail in that one now. It's almost as if you're sorting the mail. Oh, wait. It's exactly like that.

2
25%

Mail clerk. Salary: $48,380

You watch people slowly degrade from upstanding business professionals to rambunctious zoo animals as they're forced to wait in line behind every Aunt Mildred who wants seventy-eight different stamps. It used to bother you when they complained, but now you enjoy reminding them that they're doing the same thing to the people behind them by wasting time complaining to you. It's the little things in life.

3
50%

Mail carrier. Salary: $56,490

As you work your route, you repeat what you're doing in your head. Drive to the box. Drive to the box. Drive to the box. All day, you repeat it. Drive to the box. Drive to the box. Drive to the box. You've decided that someday this may not be enough. And on that day, you're going to launch a successful rap career. You already have the name of your debut album in mind: "Drive to the Box."

4
75%

Postmaster. Salary: $62,080

Who posts the postmen? Well, no one. That would be illegal. And it's your job to know that as postmaster. You hire, you fire, you train, you supervise. You do everything here except deal with the actual mail. And that's a good thing. Let the plebs deal with that.

5
95%

Mail superintendent. Salary $84,800

In between your extensive administrative work, you've just led the union in a fierce negotiation against the USPS. But you also work for the USPS. So, in a sense, you've just negotiated against yourself. These sorts of questions keep you up at night.