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Bell Curve

1
5%

Nuclear Professor. Salary: $70,000 

Hired as a new associate professor right out of graduate school, you spend some time after hours in the lab, where you create your own mini nuclear reactor that accidentally fries all the lab mice. On the bright side, you have a great idea for a new classroom snack.

2
25%

Nuclear Technician. Salary: $90,000 

You paint yourself with fluorescent body paint in order to get through the crowd of nuclear energy protesters outside the plant. This clears the way for you and you're able to keep your job with the power company. The best part is they're your favorite team's colors. Talk about showing your support on the job.

3
50%

Nuclear Scientist. Salary: $100,000 

Your forays into nuclear science are of historical importance. Unfortunately, when being interviewed by the press, you use the words "explosive" and "set your hair on fire" when discussing your latest discoveries. Sure, both of those things happened, but almost everybody's limbs are still attached, so what's the big deal?

4
75%

Nuclear Foodist. Salary: $130,000 

After three years spent in the laboratory surrounded by foodstuffs, you have discovered a new, safe way to irradiate food and rid it of diseases and toxins. You stop and pick up fast food to celebrate.

5
95%

Nuclear Adviser. Salary: $150,000 

You're the president's top adviser regarding nuclear energy. The country's entire nuclear regulation program goes through you. You keep calling the president Smithers and are unable to squelch the Mr. Burns act. Whenever you're told how the country's power plants are doing, you reply with a simple-yet-creepy excellent.

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