You spend the bulk of your mornings trying to master gravity and attempting to beat your reflection to the mirror. We think it's safe to say you're looney tunes.
You are a physics teacher at a high school in the suburbs, where every day you try to expand the minds of your students, much in the same way that the universe is expanding. Okay, that was a stretch.
You are in the research and development department of a Fiber-Optic Technologies company. You were initially hesitant to accept the position, as fiber makes you gassy.
You are a particle physicist working for the Federal Government. You're a particle man. Doing the things a particle can.
You are a world-famous theoretical physicist with your own show on Discovery. You just proved that the most delicious of all subatomic particles is the pizza neutron.