YouTube Nobody. Subscribers: 4 

Since there aren't any real qualifications for this line of work, you've chosen to get started early. You're filming and uploading your first videos while still in middle school. You review whatever tech devices your mom agrees to buy for you. You don't know it yet, but your squeaky twelve-year-old voice is totally holding you back. After puberty, you're going to shine, kid.

YouTube Somebody. Subscribers: 1,299 

Your friend filmed you ranting about spaghetti without your knowledge and uploaded it to YouTube. Your strange, impromptu tirade drew a torrent of views, and you didn't waste a minute in trying to capitalize on it. Despite launching your own channel, site, and line of poorly printed t-shirts, "PastaPunk" has yet to produce any content even close to the success of the first video.

YouTube Personality. Subscribers: 456,434 

After years of being bullied for your weird oscillating voice, you've made it work for you on YouTube. It seems like no matter what you choose to talk about, people just can't help but tune in. Nowadays, people look at the fame your voice has brought you and accuse you of being lucky. Go figure.

YouTube Sensation. Subscribers: 4,890,002 

Who knew that narrating every minute of every Pokémon game ever made from the perspective of Pikachu would be worth half a million dollars a year? And to think your mom said you were wasting your life on video games. Ha. Take that, Mom.

The "You" in "YouTube." Subscribers: All of them. 

Three hundred hours of content are uploaded to YouTube every minute, but yours seem to be the only ones anyone's watching. In fact, you've gotten so popular lately that you've just hired someone to follow you around with a camera all day like some sort of self-aware Truman Show. Everyone's watching you. You don't have a moment of privacy. You can't go anywhere without hordes of fans dog-piling on top of you. It's what you always wanted. Right?