Think back on all the things you’ve lost over the years. For most of us, the list is impossibly long: hoodies, books, car keys, pets, wallets, homework…it goes on and on. Now, think a little more abstractly about things lost: friends, lovers, family, homes. What do you feel when you think of these items that are gone forever? Anger? Sadness? Regret? All of the above?
In "One Art," the speaker attempts to avoid feeling anything in order to – simply put – get over it. Her practice of the "art of losing" is sort of an extension of something our parents are constantly telling us: to look at the big picture. Every time she says that something’s not a "disaster," she takes a step outside her own life and looks at the big picture.
However, by the time she gets around to claiming that the loss of her beloved isn’t a disaster, she’s necessarily many, many steps away from her past, if you get what we mean. The picture is too big all of a sudden; that is to say, if you want to get through life totally unscathed, you’ve basically got to distance yourself from it completely. The art of losing, it turns out, is actually impossible to master.