Interview with Achilles
The following is a copy of a YouTube chat posted below a video of Achilles strutting around his Elysian mansion in a dress. It seems that Agamemnon secretly filmed him in retaliation for Achilles posting a video of Agamemnon singing Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe" while wearing a particularly revealing pair of shorts.
We suggest you read from the bottom up.
Oh, now you've gone too far. This. Means. War.
Achillesisawesome
It makes you look fat.
bowbeforeme2001
Don't see why not.
Achillesisawesome
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
bowbeforeme2001
You know what? I love this video. I think I'm going to post it on my timeline.
Achillesisawesome
This insolence will cease!
bowbeforeme2001
Hey, no worries bro. Sorry bout all that stuff the jerk just said.
Achillesisawesome
Well, I did kill his BFF. Sorry bout that Achilles. You know... war and all.
Hector
You say that to ME? Achilles speared you in the throat, dragged your corpse around Troy for your parents to see, and wanted to leave your body for dogs to eat.
bowbeforeme2001
Man, Agamemnon, you really are a jerk.
Hector
Oh, how I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!
bowbeforeme2001
What are they going to say? I'm Achilles. Everybody's afraid of me.
Achillesisawesome
People will say... stuff.
bowbeforeme2001
With legs like these, why not flaunt them?
Achillesisawesome
Seriously? But it's so short.
bowbeforeme2001
Tough luck, dude. I look great in that dress. Let the world know.
Achillesisawesome
Perhaps an agreement can be reached.
bowbeforeme2001
Until I take down that video I took of you singing "Call Me Maybe," right?
Achillesisawesome
Don't even think about asking me to take this video down.
bowbeforeme2001
Sorry, teach.
Achillesisawesome
Remember not to be prideful, Young Master Achilles.
Chironthecentaur
Guess she knows a real hero when she sees one.
Achillesisawesome
You always take his side!
bowbeforeme2001
Thx Athena
Achillesisawesome
If one warrior sitting out of battle almost causes an army to lose a war, then I would say that said army had a particularly poor general at its helm.
Athena
Ooooh, is this another dose of your famous wrath? The wrath that almost made us lose the Trojan War?
bowbeforeme2001
I will rip your soul into a million tiny pieces and let them fly into the awful black depths of Tartarus.
Achillesisawesome
I'm dead! We both are! What are you gonna do?
bowbeforeme2001
Whatevs. Just leave my mom alone.
Achillesisawesome
Oh, nooooooooo... I hope you aren't embarrassed. Looks like Menelaus and I caught you doing a little fashion show in your back yard.
bowbeforeme2001
What do you think you're doing, Agamemnon?
Achillesisawesome
Oh, like when you turned your son into a total girly-man by making him dress as a woman to hide from the war?
bowbeforeme2001
How dare you, mortal!!!? I was the best mother I could be.
Seamom
Is it possible that yr still such an overbearing mother, Thetis? He's dead now. Maybe if you'd dipped him all the way into the River Styx instead of leaving that pesky heel out, Paris wouldn't have been able to kill him so easily.
bowbeforeme2001
You leave my boy alone!
Seamom
Well, well, well... looks like Achilles never got over the love of wearing ladies' clothes.
bowbeforeme2001