The Comedy of Errors: Act 2, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 2 of The Comedy of Errors from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text	Translated Text
Source: Folger Shakespeare Library
Enter Antipholus of Syracuse. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up Safe at the Centaur, and the heedful slave Is wandered forth in care to seek me out. By computation and mine host’s report, I could not speak with Dromio since at first 5 I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes. Enter Dromio of Syracuse. How now, sir? Is your merry humor altered? As you love strokes, so jest with me again. You know no Centaur? You received no gold? Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner? 10 My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad, That thus so madly thou didst answer me? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE What answer, sir? When spake I such a word? ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Even now, even here, not half an hour since. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I did not see you since you sent me hence, 15 Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave me. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Villain, thou didst deny the gold’s receipt And told’st me of a mistress and a dinner, For which I hope thou felt’st I was displeased. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am glad to see you in this merry vein. 20 What means this jest, I pray you, master, tell me? ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth? Think’st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that and that. Beats Dromio. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Hold, sir, for God’s sake! Now your jest is earnest. Upon what bargain do you give it me? 25 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Because that I familiarly sometimes Do use you for my fool and chat with you, Your sauciness will jest upon my love And make a common of my serious hours. When the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport, 30 But creep in crannies when he hides his beams. If you will jest with me, know my aspect, And fashion your demeanor to my looks, Or I will beat this method in your sconce. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE “Sconce” call you it? So you 35 would leave battering, I had rather have it a “head.” An you use these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head and ensconce it too, or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But I pray, sir, why am I beaten? 40 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Dost thou not know? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Shall I tell you why? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Ay, sir, and wherefore, for they 45 say every why hath a wherefore. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE “Why” first: for flouting me; and then “wherefore”: for urging it the second time to me. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season, 50 When in the “why” and the “wherefore” is neither rhyme nor reason? Well, sir, I thank you. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Thank me, sir, for what? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, for this something 55 that you gave me for nothing. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I’ll make you amends next, to give you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it dinnertime? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir, I think the meat wants 60 that I have. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE In good time, sir, what’s that? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Basting. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, then ’twill be dry. 65 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of it. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Your reason? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Lest it make you choleric and purchase me another dry basting. 70 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, learn to jest in good time. There’s a time for all things. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I durst have denied that before you were so choleric. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE By what rule, sir? 75 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of Father Time himself. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Let’s hear it. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE There’s no time for a man to recover his hair that grows bald by nature. 80 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE May he not do it by fine and recovery? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, and recover the lost hair of another man. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why is Time such a niggard 85 of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts, and what he hath scanted men in hair, he hath given them in wit. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, but there’s many a 90 man hath more hair than wit. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit. 95 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE The plainer dealer, the sooner lost. Yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE For what reason? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE For two, and sound ones too. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Nay, not sound, I pray you. 100 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Sure ones, then. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Certain ones, then. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Name them. 105 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE The one, to save the money that he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porridge. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE You would all this time have proved there is no time for all things. 110 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, and did, sir: namely, e’en no time to recover hair lost by nature. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE But your reason was not substantial why there is no time to recover. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Thus I mend it: Time himself is 115 bald and therefore, to the world’s end, will have bald followers. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I knew ’twould be a bald conclusion. But soft, who wafts us yonder?	Back at the marketplace of Ephesus, S. Antipholus is confused. He found out that the gold he sent with S. Dromio did indeed make it to the Centaur, and Dromio did book them a room. That's great, but the timing doesn't make sense to S. Antipholus. If Dromio did all this, how did he get back so quickly before? When S. Antipholus sees S. Dromio (the right Dromio this time), he begins to question him about his earlier (meaning E. Dromio’s) nonsense. S. Dromio is rightfully confused, and says he definitely didn’t ask S. Antipholus about a wife and dinner and all that jazz. S. Dromio assures his master that this is the first time he’s seen S. Antipholus since heading off to the Centaur. Still, S. Dromio says it’s nice to see his master in such a merry, joking mood. However, S. Antipholus is upset and beats S. Dromio. S. Antipholus says it’s fine for them to be familiar friends when S. Antipholus is in a good mood, but otherwise S. Dromio should know his place. In other words, S. Antipholus doesn’t want to be teased when he’s in a serious mood. S. Dromio and S. Antipholus now joke about S. Dromio’s beating and the passage of time. Just as they’re about to be pals again, S. Antipholus notices people approaching.
Enter Adriana, beckoning them, and Luciana. ADRIANA Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown. 120 Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects. I am not Adriana, nor thy wife. The time was once when thou unurged wouldst vow That never words were music to thine ear, That never object pleasing in thine eye, 125 That never touch well welcome to thy hand, That never meat sweet-savored in thy taste, Unless I spake, or looked, or touched, or carved to thee. How comes it now, my husband, O, how comes it 130 That thou art then estrangèd from thyself? “Thyself” I call it, being strange to me, That, undividable, incorporate, Am better than thy dear self’s better part. Ah, do not tear away thyself from me! 135 For know, my love, as easy mayst thou fall A drop of water in the breaking gulf, And take unmingled thence that drop again Without addition or diminishing, As take from me thyself and not me too. 140 How dearly would it touch thee to the quick, Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious And that this body, consecrate to thee, By ruffian lust should be contaminate! Wouldst thou not spit at me, and spurn at me, 145 And hurl the name of husband in my face, And tear the stained skin off my harlot brow, And from my false hand cut the wedding ring, And break it with a deep-divorcing vow? I know thou canst, and therefore see thou do it. 150 I am possessed with an adulterate blot; My blood is mingled with the crime of lust; For if we two be one, and thou play false, I do digest the poison of thy flesh, Being strumpeted by thy contagion. 155 Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed, I live distained, thou undishonorèd.	Adriana and Luciana rush in all hot and bothered. Adriana asserts her husband is being strange; he must be divided from himself, since he is divided from her, and she’s a part of him. She says trying to separate himself from her would be like putting a drop of water into the ocean and then trying to get that exact same drop of water back out again. Personally, we think a better analogy would be trying to take an egg back out of the brownie batter after you've mixed it, but then, we're partial to brownies. Anyway, her point is that they’re one now, like it or not. Adriana also points out that because of their connection, if he cheats, then she’s cheating, too, which he would undoubtedly be unhappy about. Basically, while his gender may seem to absolve him of the crime of disloyalty, his adultery would leave her stained, which would in turn dishonor him.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not. In Ephesus I am but two hours old, As strange unto your town as to your talk, 160 Who, every word by all my wit being scanned, Wants wit in all one word to understand. LUCIANA Fie, brother, how the world is changed with you! When were you wont to use my sister thus? She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner. 165 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE By Dromio? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE By me? ADRIANA By thee; and this thou didst return from him: That he did buffet thee and, in his blows, Denied my house for his, me for his wife. 170 ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman? What is the course and drift of your compact? DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I, sir? I never saw her till this time. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Villain, thou liest, for even her very words Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. 175 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I never spake with her in all my life. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE How can she thus then call us by our names— Unless it be by inspiration? ADRIANA How ill agrees it with your gravity To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, 180 Abetting him to thwart me in my mood. Be it my wrong you are from me exempt, But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine. She takes his arm. Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine, 185 Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, Makes me with thy strength to communicate. If aught possess thee from me, it is dross, Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss, Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion 190 Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion.	S. Antipholus looks at Adriana and says, "You talking to me?" He points out that he's only been in Ephesus for two hours. There's no way he's her husband. Adriana insists she sent E. Dromio (who she thinks she sees in S. Dromio) to bring her husband home to dinner not a few hours ago. Of course, S. Dromio says he’s never seen her in his life (which is true). S. Antipholus is just as confused about how this strange woman even knows their names (because they’re not using S and E initials like we are). Adriana continues to insist on standing by her man—or at least the guy she thinks is her man—and demands that he stand by her.
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, aside To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme. What, was I married to her in my dream? Or sleep I now and think I hear all this? What error drives our eyes and ears amiss? 195 Until I know this sure uncertainty I’ll entertain the offered fallacy. LUCIANA Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. He crosses himself. This is the fairy land. O spite of spites! 200 We talk with goblins, owls, and sprites. If we obey them not, this will ensue: They’ll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue. LUCIANA Why prat’st thou to thyself and answer’st not? Dromio—thou, Dromio—thou snail, thou slug, 205 thou sot. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I am transformèd, master, am I not? ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I think thou art in mind, and so am I. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Thou hast thine own form. 210 DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, I am an ape. LUCIANA If thou art changed to aught, ’tis to an ass. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE ’Tis true. She rides me, and I long for grass. ’Tis so. I am an ass; else it could never be But I should know her as well as she knows me. 215 ADRIANA Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, To put the finger in the eye and weep Whilst man and master laughs my woes to scorn. Come, sir, to dinner.—Dromio, keep the gate.— Husband, I’ll dine above with you today, 220 And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks. To Dromio. Sirrah, if any ask you for your master, Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.— Come, sister.—Dromio, play the porter well. ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, aside Am I in Earth, in heaven, or in hell? 225 Sleeping or waking, mad or well-advised? Known unto these, and to myself disguised! I’ll say as they say, and persever so, And in this mist at all adventures go. DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Master, shall I be porter at the gate? 230 ADRIANA Ay, and let none enter, lest I break your pate. LUCIANA Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late. They exit.	S. Antipholus, being unable to change the woman’s mind, decides he must’ve married her in a dream—or he’s currently in a dream—so the best thing to do is ride the high until he figures out what’s actually going on. S. Dromio declares Ephesus is a fairyland full of bewitching things. He's half worried these women (witches?) will turn him into a snaile, a slug, or some other creature. Following his master's lead, he, too, decides to roll with the confusion. Adriana, not to be beaten, demands that the confused S. Antipholus come with her to dinner. She charges S. Dromio to guard the gate and let nobody in. S. Antipholus follows along, given that these ladies seem to know him better than he does.

Original Text

Translated Text

Enter Antipholus of Syracuse.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up
Safe at the Centaur, and the heedful slave
Is wandered forth in care to seek me out.
By computation and mine host’s report,
I could not speak with Dromio since at first 5
I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse.

How now, sir? Is your merry humor altered?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaur? You received no gold?
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner? 10
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
What answer, sir? When spake I such a word?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Even now, even here, not half an hour since.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I did not see you since you sent me hence, 15
Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave me.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Villain, thou didst deny the gold’s receipt
And told’st me of a mistress and a dinner,
For which I hope thou felt’st I was displeased.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I am glad to see you in this merry vein. 20
What means this jest, I pray you, master, tell me?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?
Think’st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that and that.

Beats Dromio.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Hold, sir, for God’s sake! Now your jest is earnest.
Upon what bargain do you give it me? 25

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool and chat with you,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love
And make a common of my serious hours.
When the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport, 30
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanor to my looks,
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE “Sconce” call you it? So you 35
would leave battering, I had rather have it a
“head.” An you use these blows long, I must get a
sconce for my head and ensconce it too, or else I
shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But I pray, sir,
why am I beaten? 40

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Dost thou not know?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Nothing, sir, but that I am
beaten.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Shall I tell you why?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Ay, sir, and wherefore, for they 45
say every why hath a wherefore.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE “Why” first: for flouting
me; and then “wherefore”: for urging it the second
time to me.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season, 50
When in the “why” and the “wherefore” is neither
rhyme nor reason?
Well, sir, I thank you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Thank me, sir, for what?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, for this something 55
that you gave me for nothing.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I’ll make you amends next,
to give you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it
dinnertime?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, sir, I think the meat wants 60
that I have.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE In good time, sir, what’s
that?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Basting.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, then ’twill be dry. 65

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of
it.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Your reason?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Lest it make you choleric and
purchase me another dry basting. 70

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Well, sir, learn to jest in
good time. There’s a time for all things.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE I durst have denied that before
you were so choleric.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE By what rule, sir? 75

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as
the plain bald pate of Father Time himself.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Let’s hear it.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE There’s no time for a man to
recover his hair that grows bald by nature. 80

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE May he not do it by fine and
recovery?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig,
and recover the lost hair of another man.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why is Time such a niggard 85
of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Because it is a blessing that he
bestows on beasts, and what he hath scanted men
in hair, he hath given them in wit.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, but there’s many a 90
man hath more hair than wit.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Not a man of those but he hath
the wit to lose his hair.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Why, thou didst conclude
hairy men plain dealers without wit. 95

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE The plainer dealer, the sooner
lost. Yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE For what reason?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE For two, and sound ones too.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Nay, not sound, I pray you. 100

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Sure ones, then.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Nay, not sure, in a thing
falsing.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Certain ones, then.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE Name them. 105

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE The one, to save the money that
he spends in tiring; the other, that at dinner they
should not drop in his porridge.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE You would all this time
have proved there is no time for all things. 110

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Marry, and did, sir: namely, e’en
no time to recover hair lost by nature.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE But your reason was not
substantial why there is no time to recover.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE Thus I mend it: Time himself is 115
bald and therefore, to the world’s end, will have
bald followers.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE I knew ’twould be a bald
conclusion. But soft, who wafts us yonder?

Back at the marketplace of Ephesus, S. Antipholus is confused. He found out that the gold he sent with S. Dromio did indeed make it to the Centaur, and Dromio did book them a room. That's great, but the timing doesn't make sense to S. Antipholus. If Dromio did all this, how did he get back so quickly before?

When S. Antipholus sees S. Dromio (the right Dromio this time), he begins to question him about his earlier (meaning E. Dromio’s) nonsense. S. Dromio is rightfully confused, and says he definitely didn’t ask S. Antipholus about a wife and dinner and all that jazz. S. Dromio assures his master that this is the first time he’s seen S. Antipholus since heading off to the Centaur.

Still, S. Dromio says it’s nice to see his master in such a merry, joking mood. However, S. Antipholus is upset and beats S. Dromio.

S. Antipholus says it’s fine for them to be familiar friends when S. Antipholus is in a good mood, but otherwise S. Dromio should know his place. In other words, S. Antipholus doesn’t want to be teased when he’s in a serious mood.

S. Dromio and S. Antipholus now joke about S. Dromio’s beating and the passage of time. Just as they’re about to be pals again, S. Antipholus notices people approaching.

Enter Adriana, beckoning them, and Luciana.

ADRIANA
Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown. 120
Some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects.
I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.
The time was once when thou unurged wouldst vow
That never words were music to thine ear,
That never object pleasing in thine eye, 125
That never touch well welcome to thy hand,
That never meat sweet-savored in thy taste,
Unless I spake, or looked, or touched, or carved to
thee.
How comes it now, my husband, O, how comes it 130
That thou art then estrangèd from thyself?
“Thyself” I call it, being strange to me,
That, undividable, incorporate,
Am better than thy dear self’s better part.
Ah, do not tear away thyself from me! 135
For know, my love, as easy mayst thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulf,
And take unmingled thence that drop again
Without addition or diminishing,
As take from me thyself and not me too. 140
How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious
And that this body, consecrate to thee,
By ruffian lust should be contaminate!
Wouldst thou not spit at me, and spurn at me, 145
And hurl the name of husband in my face,
And tear the stained skin off my harlot brow,
And from my false hand cut the wedding ring,
And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?
I know thou canst, and therefore see thou do it. 150
I am possessed with an adulterate blot;
My blood is mingled with the crime of lust;
For if we two be one, and thou play false,
I do digest the poison of thy flesh,
Being strumpeted by thy contagion. 155
Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed,
I live distained, thou undishonorèd.

Adriana and Luciana rush in all hot and bothered.

Adriana asserts her husband is being strange; he must be divided from himself, since he is divided from her, and she’s a part of him.

She says trying to separate himself from her would be like putting a drop of water into the ocean and then trying to get that exact same drop of water back out again. Personally, we think a better analogy would be trying to take an egg back out of the brownie batter after you've mixed it, but then, we're partial to brownies. Anyway, her point is that they’re one now, like it or not.

Adriana also points out that because of their connection, if he cheats, then she’s cheating, too, which he would undoubtedly be unhappy about.

Basically, while his gender may seem to absolve him of the crime of disloyalty, his adultery would leave her stained, which would in turn dishonor him.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not.
In Ephesus I am but two hours old,
As strange unto your town as to your talk, 160
Who, every word by all my wit being scanned,
Wants wit in all one word to understand.

LUCIANA
Fie, brother, how the world is changed with you!
When were you wont to use my sister thus?
She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner. 165

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE By Dromio?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE By me?

ADRIANA
By thee; and this thou didst return from him:
That he did buffet thee and, in his blows,
Denied my house for his, me for his wife. 170

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Did you converse, sir, with this gentlewoman?
What is the course and drift of your compact?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I, sir? I never saw her till this time.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Villain, thou liest, for even her very words
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. 175

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I never spake with her in all my life.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
How can she thus then call us by our names—
Unless it be by inspiration?

ADRIANA
How ill agrees it with your gravity
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, 180
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood.
Be it my wrong you are from me exempt,
But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt.
Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine.

She takes his arm.

Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine, 185
Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,
Makes me with thy strength to communicate.
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss,
Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion 190
Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion.

S. Antipholus looks at Adriana and says, "You talking to me?"

He points out that he's only been in Ephesus for two hours. There's no way he's her husband.

Adriana insists she sent E. Dromio (who she thinks she sees in S. Dromio) to bring her husband home to dinner not a few hours ago. Of course, S. Dromio says he’s never seen her in his life (which is true).

S. Antipholus is just as confused about how this strange woman even knows their names (because they’re not using S and E initials like we are).

Adriana continues to insist on standing by her man—or at least the guy she thinks is her man—and demands that he stand by her.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, aside
To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme.
What, was I married to her in my dream?
Or sleep I now and think I hear all this?
What error drives our eyes and ears amiss? 195
Until I know this sure uncertainty
I’ll entertain the offered fallacy.

LUCIANA
Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner.

He crosses himself.

This is the fairy land. O spite of spites! 200
We talk with goblins, owls, and sprites.
If we obey them not, this will ensue:
They’ll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.

LUCIANA
Why prat’st thou to thyself and answer’st not?
Dromio—thou, Dromio—thou snail, thou slug, 205
thou sot.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
I am transformèd, master, am I not?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
I think thou art in mind, and so am I.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE
Thou hast thine own form. 210

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE No, I am an ape.

LUCIANA
If thou art changed to aught, ’tis to an ass.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
’Tis true. She rides me, and I long for grass.
’Tis so. I am an ass; else it could never be
But I should know her as well as she knows me. 215

ADRIANA
Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,
To put the finger in the eye and weep
Whilst man and master laughs my woes to scorn.
Come, sir, to dinner.—Dromio, keep the gate.—
Husband, I’ll dine above with you today, 220
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.
To Dromio. Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,
Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter.—
Come, sister.—Dromio, play the porter well.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, aside
Am I in Earth, in heaven, or in hell? 225
Sleeping or waking, mad or well-advised?
Known unto these, and to myself disguised!
I’ll say as they say, and persever so,
And in this mist at all adventures go.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE
Master, shall I be porter at the gate? 230

ADRIANA
Ay, and let none enter, lest I break your pate.

LUCIANA
Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

They exit.

S. Antipholus, being unable to change the woman’s mind, decides he must’ve married her in a dream—or he’s currently in a dream—so the best thing to do is ride the high until he figures out what’s actually going on.

S. Dromio declares Ephesus is a fairyland full of bewitching things. He's half worried these women (witches?) will turn him into a snaile, a slug, or some other creature. Following his master's lead, he, too, decides to roll with the confusion.

Adriana, not to be beaten, demands that the confused S. Antipholus come with her to dinner. She charges S. Dromio to guard the gate and let nobody in. S. Antipholus follows along, given that these ladies seem to know him better than he does.

The Comedy of Errors: Act 2, Scene 2 Translation

A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 2 of The Comedy of Errors from the original Shakespeare into modern English.

Original Text

Translated Text

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