How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
"I got a letter from Virginia Union." A brother we called Brew sat on a footlocker next to Lieutenant Carroll. His real name was Brewster, so I could see where Brew came from. "They said I can probably get into the theology school there but they can't accept me formally until six months before my admission date." (4.26)
Brew might be the most religious guy in the platoon. He plans to go to school to become a preacher after he's done his time in Vietnam. He's so excited about it he's trying to get his ducks in a row way, way in advance.
Quote #2
"You know"—Lieutenant Carroll had spread all the extra first aid packs on the floor in front of him— "my brother went to theology school and I almost followed him."
"You can still go," a guy called Walowick said from his bunk. "It's good for a priest to be older."
"I might have too many doubts, now," Lieutenant Carroll said.
"If you turn to God, He'll take away your doubts," Brew said.
"I don't have doubts about God," Lieutenant Carroll said. "I'm just not sure who I am anymore." (4.30-34)
Here's a snapshot of the difference in Carroll and Brew's beliefs. They both believe in God, but Carroll doubts himself. Maybe he feels like he'd be a hypocrite for leading people spiritually. Maybe he thinks there's some bad in him. Maybe he's seen too much death and suffering—and also participated in it.
Quote #3
"He used to act like a holy guy or something when he first got over here. He never cursed or anything like that." Walowick was putting powder on a rash he had. "Then one day we were trying to clear a road and some guys got trapped in a ditch off to one side. We were on the other side of the road, and we could see them but we couldn't get to them. It was getting dark, and we knew they couldn't last. Charlie was throwing everything at them. Then Lieutenant Carroll just went wild and stormed across the f***ing road. We went after him. We were shooting at guys maybe three or four feet from us. We finally wasted all of them and cleared the road. He hasn't been the same since, but we all found out what kind of guy he was that day." (4.37)
Somewhere in here is the secret of Carroll's change in beliefs, but it's not clear what exactly did it. Maybe the amount of people he killed. Or how he risked more men to save some. He obviously cared about the men in the ditch, but maybe the decision to run out and shoot wasn't the smartest or most strategic, and how he felt after that changed his plans for himself.