Journal
- In jail Steve can't have shoelaces or a belt—that way he has to live with his punishment and can't commit suicide.
- In the courtroom, Steve feels disconnected from his case. It just doesn't feel real. But when he gets back to his cell, reality sinks in again.
- O'Brien tells him that the whole Bolden testimony was meant to lead back to him and King.
- Steve thinks it's really a ploy to present him as a monster, part of a plan to show the jury a bunch of monster-people, and then link them all to himself and King.
- He thinks of the scene in the movie with Jerry. It gives him warm fuzzies—maybe he's not a monster after all.
- Sunset (another inmate) asks Steve to read his screenplay, and then tells him that the title, Monster, rocks. He wants it tattooed on his face. Steve feels "like I already have it tattooed on mine" (5.5).
- A preacher visits the slammer and a couple guys want to pray with him. Steve does too, until this dude, Lynch, starts going off. He tells everyone that they're just criminals, so what's the point in trying to act all holy?
- It gets Steve thinking: He thinks he is a good person, but he wants to feel it, too, which isn't an easy task when you're living in a cell surrounded by thugs.
- He feels like he looks like the rest of the guys around him, and understands why O'Brien wants the jury to see him as human. As different.
- After Lynch's outburst, the preacher gets taken out and the rest of the guys have to head back to their cells.
- Steve falls asleep and dreams: He's in the courtroom, trying to ask questions but no one can hear him; when he shouts, no one cares.
- When he wakes up, he can't fall back to sleep.
- In the morning, Steve gets into his court clothes and listens to all the dudes discussing their appeals and cases.
- He feels disgusting, and can't bring himself to use the bathroom with everyone else around.
- Then he's off to the courthouse again.