Tales the Madmen Never Tell
- As per Madmen tradition, the group goes to a Denny's in Maumee to celebrate another successful rescue of Paul.
- Part of this ritual involves retelling the story of what just happened, but since Marti is new, they end up telling her about a dozen additional Madmen legends as well.
- They start talking about the new therapist they'll be meeting next week. Her name is Leslie Schwinn, and she's fresh out of a fast-track shrink program, which basically means she knows absolutely nothing.
- Paul makes a snide remark about how they'll find out on Monday, except for Karl, who has his ticket out. He then calls Karl's mom crazy.
- Karl is really ticked at Paul for bringing this up and feels like he has to defend himself (and, oddly enough, his mom). He basically tells Paul to back off.
- It doesn't work. Paul continues trying to pick a fight with him. Cheryl tries to extricate herself from the situation by asking if anyone needs a ride home, and Karl takes the opportunity to leave and goes with her and Squid in her car.
- On the way home, Squid conks out after a long day of school, work, and playing football. Cheryl tells Karl that he is still her friend and knows that he still cares about the group, even Paul.
- Karl tells Cheryl about the fight he had with Paul and breaks down crying. Instead of taking him home, Cheryl drives him to the tar pond outside town to talk about the Paul situation.
- Unfortunately, the tar pond is also where people go to make out, so Karl is understandably panicked when Stacy, one of the popular girls, sees them in a car there together.
- When Cheryl takes him back to his house, Karl sees his mom's suitcase sitting on the porch—without his mom. Uh-oh. This can't be good.
- Inside, Karl's mom is lying on the couch hugging herself, still all dressed up for her trip and surrounded by her cat army. Basically, Bill stood her up, and she got drunk as a result.
- Karl tells his mom she needs a shower and sleep, then goes up to get ready for bed himself. He finds that the mystery cat has pooped on his bed and peed all over his throw rug, and he begins to think about his plan to find out which one it is and deposit him in the cat cemetery.