Quote 1
"You are burnt beyond recognition," he added, looking at his wife as one looks at a valuable piece of personal property which has suffered some damage. (1.11)
It’s quite clear that Mr. Pontellier views his wife as a piece of property rather than as an equal partner or individual.
Quote 2
She heard him moving about the room; every sound indicating impatience and irritation. Another time she would have gone in at his request. She would, through habit, have yielded to his desire; not with any sense of submission or obedience to his compelling wishes, but unthinkingly, as we walk, move, sit, stand, go through the daily treadmill of the life which has been portioned out to us.
"Edna, dear, are you not coming in soon?" he asked again, this time fondly, with a note of entreaty.
"No; I am going to stay out here."
"This is more than folly," he blurted out. "I can't permit you to stay out there all night. You must come in the house instantly."
With a writhing motion she settled herself more securely in the hammock. She perceived that her will had blazed up, stubborn and resistant. She could not at that moment have done other than denied and resisted. She wondered if her husband had ever spoken to her like that before, and if she had submitted to his command. Of course she had; she remembered that she had. But she could not realize why or how she should have yielded, feeling as she then did. (11.11 – 11.15)
This is the first moment that Edna exerts her will and defies her husband – over something as trivial as staying out in a hammock or not. This passage illustrates the extent to which their marriage is unequal: Mr. Pontellier can always do as he pleases, but when he asks his wife to do something, he expects to be obeyed.
Quote 3
"Well, I hope you left some suitable excuse," said her husband, somewhat appeased, as he added a dash of cayenne pepper to the soup.
"No, I left no excuse. I told Joe to say I was out, that was all."
"Why, my dear, I should think you'd understand by this time that people don't do such things; we've got to observe les convenances if we ever expect to get on and keep up with the procession. If you felt that you had to leave home this afternoon, you should have left some suitable explanation for your absence. (17.11-13)
In a situation illustrative of the weeks to come, Mr. Pontellier is dismayed by Edna’s refusal to adhere to convention while Edna remains unperturbed.