The Diaper Gang Knows
- Over at the local makeshift pool, Turtle and the Diaper Gang mess around in the water. It's so hot that it feels nice to play in it.
- Some kid named Ira comes up and says hi to everyone; he just got back from Miami.
- Turtle asks what he was doing there, and he explains that his brother needed surgery because he lit firecrackers and then held onto them too long. What a dummy, Ira says.
- Kermit fills Turtle in: The Diaper Gang was originally Ira's idea. They talk about how they'll need a new wagon soon because the old one's getting dingy.
- Just then, Miss Sugarapple comes up to the boys and says hello. She was their teacher, and it comes as no surprise to Turtle that these boys were troublemakers in class.
- One time, they stole the answer sheet right from Miss Sugarapple's desk and had to write I will not steal on the board one hundred times. No wonder they hate her now.
- After their swim, they make a cut-up, which involves everyone grabbing a piece of fruit from a nearby tree, cutting it all up, and putting it in a bowl; they toss it with lime juice, salt, and pepper, and it's delicious.
- Ira tells the gang about this new trick he heard about in Miami called tick-tocking. Basically, you take a rock and scratch it on someone's window using a string. It makes a creepy sound and scares them half to death.
- They love the idea and decide to get Miss Sugarapple first.
- As Turtle goes to sleep, she remembers when Archie told her about what he really sells. He might say he sells face cream or hair products, but he's really selling dreams. Huh?
- He explains that when a woman buys a face cream, she's really buying into the idea that she can be younger and prettier than she already is. He just finds those dreams and uses them to sell more stuff to people.
- Hmm… sounds slimy. Turtle asks what happens when people don't have dreams, but Archie assures her that everyone does.
- Turtle hears a scream and knows the Diaper Gang have already tick-tocked someone.
- The next day, the boys are proud of their prank. When Jelly comes by and tells them a ghost tried to get into Miss Sugarapple's house the night before, they pretend not to know anything; they bust up laughing after Jelly leaves.
- During the next couple days, the Diaper Gang tick-tocks a bunch of people to get back at them for random stuff.
- They're having a blast, but the only downside is that they're super tired during the day. For the first time, Kermit wants to take his afternoon nap, and the rest of the boys wish they could, too.
- Pudding won't stop crying, so eventually, Turtle picks him up. That shuts him up. She gets why someone would want to have a baby if they are cuddly and stop crying like this when you hold them.
- To make matters worse, Pork Chop is limping from tripping over Too Bad last night. He's not part of the gang, but he followed them and now Pork Chop hurt his leg.
- Still, the boys are glad when they see the paper says Key West Cursed by Weeping Ghost. They're famous—sort of.
- Turtle asks why it's a weeping ghost—the article claims the ghost was trying to communicate with Mrs. Higgs, the boy's first grade teacher. The ghost was crying so much, Mrs. Higgs thought it must be the ghost of a sailor's widow.
- Everyone cracks up.