About Me

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Intro

Maybe you want to cure cancer, or engineer artificial intelligence that could potentially cure cancer. Maybe you want to write the next Great American Novel, or go teach poetry in underprivileged schools. Maybe you want to be president (Michael Dukakis, class of 1955), or a civil rights lawyer. Maybe you want to make feminist TV shows or help Spanish-speaking immigrants get health insurance. Maybe you want to do all of that.

My point is this: if you have a passion for something and you care about making it happen, you should check me out. I can hook you up.

Out of the Top Liberal Arts Colleges in America, I'm always number three. But that's okay; I like the number three. Not too snobby, but not too shabby.

Here's the thing you need to understand: I work hard and I play hard. You're going to sleep three hours a night and you're going to think that's good. You'll juggle three seminar papers, a thesis draft, an a cappella rehearsal, and ultimate frisbee practice, but you're also going to squeeze in a dinner meeting with that cute kid on your hall…and you're going to go out and dance the night away.

And in the morning, you're going to rinse and repeat.

And it's okay, because everyone else is doing the same thing. I only have 1,500 students, so don't worry: they all lean on each other.

Name

Phineas the Phoenix

Hometown

Swarthmore, Pennsylvania. And before you ask, yes, the town was named after me.

Birthdate

1864. Just celebrated my 150th birthday.

Body Type

You know that song, "It's a Small World After All"? Grapevine, our all-female a cappella group, does a rendition of that:

"So you see your ex, who you miss a lot,
Hooking up in some dark, secluded spot,
At first you don't care
Then you stop and stare
It's your roommate, after all."

It sounds funny, but it's totally true. There are only about 1,500 students here. There are high schools bigger than me. I'm a tiny place.

Current Living Situation

Almost everybody lives on campus. And if you've ever seen me, you'd understand why. I am beautiful. I'm not talking your high school yearbook "Most Attractive" superlative, either. I'm talking Miss America—no, Miss World (that's a thing, right?). I'm an arboretum, and I've got cherry blossoms, wildflowers, a top-notch rose garden, and I sit on the edge of a 200-acre wood.

The dorms are pretty sweet, too. There are a few off-campus, and there's a nice little ville where some people have apartments. Usually, though, you'll be right on campus, hanging out with an awesome RA and a roommate of any gender you want (if you have a preference).

Relationship Status

I'm a member of the Tri-College Consortium, which also includes Haverford and Bryn Mawr Colleges. We call it the Tri-Co, and it's pretty great. The three of us share a library system, a course catalog, and if the parties are looking lame on one campus, you can hit up another. One, two, three, not only you and me...

Religion

I'm a Quaker school, and that's important. You don't have to be a Quaker or know anything about Quakerism, but you better appreciate that those friends knew what they were doing. Sometimes, if things get heavy on campus, we'll have a collection. That just means we sit around all together and speak if the spirit moves us. You don't have to do it, and it's not really religious. Even the people who practice collections aren't practicing Quakers. It's more a community philosophy than a religion.

Politics

Trigger warning: I am liberal, liberal, liberal. There are some conservatives hiding amongst the rose bushes, but don't be seen with them. You won't get out alive.

You should apply to me if...

you have a serious desire to change the world. If you're just looking for a degree that will make you money, don't bother applying. It really isn't worth it.

Website

http://www.swarthmore.edu