Your first pro NASCAR race is finally here. You hit the gas and end up in a spin on the first lap that has you crashing into the wall and SPLAT, GAME OVER as your car goes up in a fiery crash. At least your loved ones have your first and last race on tape.

You spend your whole life racing in Kart competitions and finally convince someone with a car to let you race for them. Too bad you have Ernie’s Hemorrhoid Cream plastered all over your car and your clothes.

You get an opportunity to enter a NASCAR race with a real pro car and everything. Next time you assure everyone you can do better than 42nd place out of 43. At least you didn’t come in last.

You manage to win several prestigious races and are in a prime place to take second in the cup tournament. You get prize money, bonuses, and have a nice nest egg for when you retire, which is hopefully soon.

You are top dog, winner of the NASCAR Sprint Cup series five times in a row. You are a multi-millionaire, have six homes in various parts of the world, are the toast of every party, and are a regular hosting Saturday Night Live now. If you can survive long enough to retire, you’ll lead the life of Kings.