Seinfeld Quotes
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Source: Seinfeld
Speaker: Newman
When you control the mail...you control information.
Context
This line was spoken by Newman (played by Wayne Knight) in the episode "The Lip Reader," written by Carol Leifer, on Seinfeld (1989-1998).
All good heroes (even ones who star in a show about "nothing") deserve an equally compelling villain. Batman has the Joker, Sherlock Holmes has Moriarty, and Jerry has the nefarious mailman Newman. The reason for their enmity is complicated. "Hello, Newman" and "Hello, Jerry" is probably their most famous exchange, but Newman has some great lines throughout the series.
Newman's partner in crime is Kramer, another neighbor of Jerry's, and they get up to all kinds of shenanigans throughout Seinfeld's run, including setting up a rickshaw transport service to con tourists. Kramer also keeps Newman in the loop about what's going on in the life of his nemesis. In "The Lip Reader" episode, Jerry's girlfriend of the week is a deaf woman named Laura, who can spy on people by reading their lips. This comes back to bite Jerry as she misreads "six" for "sex" on their second date.
Of course, Newman wants to use Laura's lip reading ability to his own advantage by seeing what his bosses at the mailroom are up to. Sadly for Newman, he doesn't get the chance.
Where you've heard it
You've probably heard this line on throwback Thursday when one of your older friends in reminiscing about the days when snail mail, not e-mail or texting, was the communication medium of choice.
Additional Notable References:
- If you want more Newman, but don't want to watch Seinfeld, check out this compilation of his best moments.
- Conversely, if you despise Newman, you can watch Wayne Knight's character, Dennis Nedry, get eaten by an acid spewing dinosaur in Jurassic Park.
- Or you can see him flattened like a pancake and then blown up like, well, a basketball, in Space Jam. Mr. Knight has really taken his share of cinematic beatings.
Pretentious Factor
If you were to drop this quote at a dinner party, would you get an in-unison "awww" or would everyone roll their eyes and never invite you back? Here it is, on a scale of 1-10.
Mail isn't really a huge thing anymore, so this quote should stay in the 90s.