Quote 1
"What's a Quaker?" The only Quaker I had ever heard of was Quaker Oats cereal.
"It's somebody who doesn't believe in violence," he said.
I told him, "Who says you have to believe in it? You just do it." (4.1-4.3)
Two things. First, Penn is a Quaker, so he doesn't believe in violence. Fine.
Second, there's Crash's response, which is not fine. Don't think about violence, just perpetrate it? That's essentially what he's saying, and it gives us some insight into Crash's character. Granted, he's only, like, 5 when he says it, but it sort of sets the tone for some of his future behavior.
Quote 2
"She's gonna go"—I made my voice high like a girl's—"'Oooo, there's that Crash Coogan scoring another touchdown. I do believe I'm falling in love with that boy. He's so good and handsome.'" (10.37)
Crash has some weird ideas about what women like. Where do you suppose those ideas came from?
Quote 3
"Penn Webb wants to be a cheerleader."
He bit off the end of his sandwich. He shook his head, chewed, chuckled, and spoke all at once: "Now, that is terrifying." (13.43-13.44)
There are plenty of things in this world that are terrifying—big bugs, clowns, and running out of ice cream, for starters. But male cheerleaders? They don't seem so terrifying…except to Crash's dad. Don't ask us why, but it's pretty clear that he finds a young boy's extracurricular activity threatening to his own masculinity.
Quote 4
"Maybe you don't know, 'cause you're new here, but that's a men's store. I can wear men's sizes." I gave her a wink. "I guess you could wear women's sizes, huh?" (23.8)
Here, we have Crash delivering what is surely the worst line in the history of manhood to Jane Forbes. Does it work? Take a wild guess...and then try to explain—to us and to yourself—why Crash thought it might work.
Quote 5
I cut him off. "My father is starting a new business. He works seventy hours a week. Sometimes more." (1.20)
Hmm. Do you think working 70 hours a week is a good thing or a bad thing? What does Crash think? How can you tell?
Quote 6
"Do we have a great-grandfather?" I said.
She went, "Shhh!" and gave me a dirty look. She whispered, "I don't know. Ask Mommy." (2.48-2.49)
The Coogan family seems pretty close, but neither Crash nor Abby know if they have a great-grandfather. That's a telling detail. So, what does it tell you?
Quote 7
"Who're you tricking?" I said. "That's no house. That's a garage."
He looked at the place, looked at me. "No, I'm not tricking you. We live there." (2.22-2.23)
We think it's deeply uncool when Crash tries to make Penn feel ashamed of his family's finances. But not to worry: Penn doesn't care what anyone thinks. He's cool like that.
Quote 8
"So where's the rest?"
[…] "The rest of what?"
"Your toys."
He pointed to the wagon. "There it is."
"I mean the rest." I looked under his bed. I nosed into the closet. "Dump trucks. Fire engines. Cars. Cranes. Steam shovels. Batman. Spider-Man." (5.23-5.27)
Penn has one toy. One. Single. Toy. Crash has approximately all the toys. Who do you think appreciates his stuff more?
Quote 9
"So," I said, "are you poor?"
[…]
"No," said the father, "we're not poor at all. In fact, I would say in a lot of ways we're rich." (6.40-6.44)
Nice speech, Mr. Webb. What is his message about material things here? And in what ways is the Webb family rich?
Quote 10
"Don't take it so hard," I told him. "Nobody beats me."
"That's not it," he said. He had on the glum monkey face again.
"So what is it?" He sniffed.
"Now you're not coming." He headed off down the street. (4.35-4.38)
Crash is so competitive that he thinks Penn is upset about losing the race. Turns out, Penn is disappointed Crash won't be coming over for dinner. This is so pathetic that even Crash, 5-year-old brute that he is, feels bad.
Quote 11
"What were you doing in there?"
His tongue drilled into the doughnut and came out with a clump of jelly. He shrugged. "Lookin' around. Ain't that the old dude's room? Your grandfather?" (34.21-34.22)
Mike Deluca, Crash's best friend, isn't the most sensitive guy in the world. That's probably why Crash ditches him shortly after this incident, when Mike is disrespectful toward Scooter.