How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #1
There are three chairs on the covered patio: one for him, one for me, and one for Uncle Hoyt. I tell myself the chairs are empty because we're not there yet. I watch for as long as I can and when my eye starts to water, I remove my hand. (1.4)
Perhaps Pearl tells herself this so she doesn't have to deal with the alternative. After all, it's no fun thinking about how your uncle is dead because of a decision you made. Or that the guy you crushed fled to another country without you. It's clear that Pearl feels awful about what happened, but at this stage in the book, we don't know what that is yet.
Quote #2
The avocado grove looks nothing like it did that day. Nine hundred of Hoyt's trees burned in the Agua Prieta fire. Lavar Mulveen's white-shingled house, the needlepoint rug, the sofa, the three pictures I had saved of my father and me, the dish shaped like a heart that I made for him in sixth grade, the silverware, and every book we owned. Robby's Tintin figures. My mother's lock of her grandmother's hair. All burned. The wrought-iron fence melted, then hardened into a roller-coaster rail, and the prickly pear cactus that grew along the ridge liquefied and sank into ghastly skin-colored piles. (9.1)
Yikes. Pearl paints a grim picture for us here. The fire doesn't just destroy acres of land; it ruins their land and their lives. Pearl blames herself for this in a lot of ways, even though she doesn't set the fire or have anything to do with it. We can tell that her guilt is about how the fire burns her family's future in ways that she can't change.
Quote #3
For cutting school and not answering my phone and wandering loose among mountain lions and would-be rapists ("did you know there are squatters camps out there?" my mother asked, so I didn't mention the hammock), she grounded me and took away my phone. (15.9)
When Pearl ditches school after her dad's call, her mom gives her a lecture, busting out one of the oldest tricks in the book—the good old-fashioned guilt trip. She's feeling down in the dumps, too, but she doesn't go around using that as an excuse and Pearl shouldn't either.
Quote #4
Two days after the fire, I thought I saw Robby in the hospital room. "The ostrich died," he told me, his voice a hiss. "You killed it." But when I asked my mother where Robby went, she said, "He was never here." (51.1)
Pearl imagines seeing Robby even though he never visited her. Why? We think this is a manifestation of her guilt. She blames herself for Hoyt's death, and Robby does, too. She pictures him telling her about the ostrich dying as a way of coming to the realization that she had a hand in Hoyt's death.
Quote #5
Three days after the fire, I woke up and Hoyt was still dead. I didn't hope Robby would visit; in fact, I feared now that he would. (52.1)
Before this, Pearl desperately wants to see Robby and for things to go back to the way they were before the fire. At this point, though, she stops wishing for that. She knows it would just make her feel worse—if that's possible.
Quote #6
I wanted, when I felt the ability to want anything besides not having killed my uncle, to go to the river and look for Amiel. (55.16)
Even though the fire burned their house and killed her uncle, Pearl still thinks about Amiel. She's not entirely certain he's alive and wants to check on him. Okay, okay, we get that. But it seems like she's more interested in Amiel than she is in piecing her family back together. We get that she loves him, but we think her mom needs her at the moment, too. Is that too much to ask?
Quote #7
My mother didn't even listen to my arguments about why it would be better for me to stay home and get a GED than to go back to the high school when it opened. "I can't face people," I said. (56.1)
It seems like Pearl only wants to deal with what happened by layering on the guilt and then hiding from everyone. We hate to break it to her, but that's not going to change what happened; she can't hide from the whole community forever. Not that this stops her from trying…
Quote #8
Still kneeling in the ashes, I took Amiel's stick and started to write in the dust that was so fine I could feel it rising up to smother me, I'm sorry Robby I'm sorry Agnès I'm sorry Hoyt I'm sorry Mom, but they were not the right words to make the invisible appear. (57.25)
In the woods, Pearl breaks down for the first time. Her guilt takes on a new form as she begins to articulate her contrition for what she did. Sure, it's not to the people she's hurt, but at least she starts to talk about apologizing for how she acted the day of the fire.
Quote #9
A month or so later, I wrote two letters— the real thing, handwritten, pen and paper. The first was to Robby and repeated Mary Beth's story. The second was to my aunt Agnès and said that I knew she could never forgive me, that I didn't forgive myself, but I wanted to tell her that I knew it was my fault that my uncle died in the fire. (58.27)
Finally Pearl gets to the point where she can tell Robby and Agnès how sorry she is for Hoyt's death. It's here that we see her move past all of her downtrodden guilt and start to move on with her life. Of course she still feels awful and blames herself, but at least she's trying to make amends.
Quote #10
Dear Pearl, it said. Faute avouée est à moitié pardonnée. She didn't translate, but I managed to look it up and be comforted a little by her belief that a fault acknowledged is halfway forgiven. (58.32)
Agnès tells Pearl that she's already halfway forgiven if she admits her fault in Hoyt's death. It's a nice idea, but we can't help but wonder whether it's actually true. Do Agnès and Robby forgive Pearl, or do they go on blaming her for the fact that Hoyt isn't with them anymore?