Quote 1
"See you soon," he says. Without a trace of doubt.
My mother hugs me, and what little resolve I have left almost breaks. I clench my jaw and stare up at the ceiling, where globe lanterns hang and fill the room with blue light. She holds me for what feels like a long time, even after I let my hands fall. Before she pulls away, she turns her head and whispers in my ear, "I love you. No matter what." (5.15-6)
We tend to talk about family as if everyone in the family thinks the same way about things. But check out this pre-Choosing Ceremony interaction Tris has with Dad and Mom: Dad is all "I know you're going to choose Abnegation (because I'm not very observant)," while Mom is all "Even if you betray the family, I'll still love you and understand." Families aren't always united. And they're definitely not always on the same page.
Quote 2
"What makes you think you have the right to shoot someone?" my father says as he follows me up the path. We pass the tattoo place. Where is Tori now? And Christina?
"Now isn't the time for debates about ethics," I say.
"Now is the perfect time," he says, "because you will soon get the opportunity to shoot someone again, and if you don't realize —"
"Realize what?" I say without turning around. "That every second I waste means another Abnegation dead and another Dauntless made into a murderer? I've realized that. Now it's your turn."
"There is a right way to do things."
"What makes you so sure that you know what it is?" I say.
"Please stop fighting," Caleb interrupts, his voice chiding. "We have more important things to do right now." (37.98-104)
Honestly, the only person we disagree with here is Caleb. They are invading the Dauntless compound and may have to kill people (or die) to save lives? This is the perfect time for an ethical debate. It could save you a whole lot of guilt later.
Quote 3
"Every faction conditions its members to think and act a certain way. And most people do it. For most people, it's not hard to learn, to find a pattern of thought that works and stay that way." She touches my uninjured shoulder and smiles. "But our minds move in a dozen different directions. We can't be confined to one way of thinking, and that terrifies our leaders. It means we can't be controlled. And it means that no matter what they do, we will always cause trouble for them." (35.39)
Tris's mom gives her the talk here. No, not the talk about the birds and the bees—the talk about how faction leaders try to control people's thoughts but can't control the Divergents. This puts the whole "faction norms" thing in a different light: it's not just about a sense of community or anything, but about reducing the number of choices people make. It's about having "power" over people.