Character Analysis
Daan's a couple years older than his cousin Jacob, and boy does Daan think he's got it all figured out. His view on Jacob? The guy's not as cool as he seems. Marriage? It's outdated. Love? It's not finite. The guy's full of answers. Just check out what he says to Jacob about love as an example:
It is not that we each have a limited supply of it that we can only give to one person at a time. Or that we have one kind of love that can only be given to one person in the whole of our lives. It's a ridiculous thing to think so. (21.58)
Goodness, this guy's got a lot of opinions. Daan's idea of love is different from his mom's and his grandma's, that's for sure. Here he explains that he thinks of love as a sort of bottomless well—something that we can give over and over again throughout our lives. Jacob isn't so sure he buys this definition of love, but it definitely broadens the scope of possibilities for our main man as he tries to sort himself out.
Love the One You're With
As Jacob tries to figure out whether he buys this version of love or not, we get to see how it plays out in Daan's life. He thinks you should love the one you're with, regardless of who that is. When it's over, it's over; move on. Daan doesn't get invested in marriage or monogamy, and he thinks that it's great to be with both Ton and Simone at the same time because he loves them both, and they're both cool with it. Whatever floats your boat, Daan. And it seems to be working. As Ton says:
[…] one of the reasons I love Daan so much is that we think things together we never would have thought by ourselves. Or with anyone else. And for us, the sex is part of how it happens. (21.107)
What Ton says about Daan is just another way of saying you complete me—it's sweet, it's heartfelt, and it makes everyone go aww. Beyond Ton and Daan's relationship, though, is the underlying point that love should be about bringing out a better version of yourself—Daan and Ton help each other "think new things"—so while Daan's a proponent for free love, there's also some purpose to it that goes beyond just pleasure. It's this that Daan looks for in someone, not what gender a person is or whether society will approve.
Jealous Much?
Daan might have an evolved and open idea of what love really is, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get jealous. Did you notice how he gets jealous of everyone's relationship with Jacob? It's like he doesn't want people to think his little cousin is better than him. Ton tells Jacob:
He and Geertrui are very close. He's devoted to her. He'd do anything for her, I think. Now you come along. She wrote her memoir for you. Daan spent hours helping with it. She had told him about your grandfather. But she didn't write it down for him like she has for you. (21.91)
Ouch. We get why Daan would be hurt over this though, especially since his grandma never did anything like this for him, and she's never met Jacob before his trip. Plus, to make matters worse, he thinks his mom, Tessel, likes Jacob more than him. In fact, he claims:
I think perhaps she sees in you the son she wishes I was. (21.40)
Oh snap—that's got to hurt. While we don't know if it's totally true, we get that Daan is a little hurt when Jacob shows up and everyone is super interested in him. But we can't help but wonder whether this reveals a bit of insecurity in Daan more than it reflects on anyone else. After all, Tessel doesn't want Jacob there at first, and Geertrui tells Jacob he can't be there when she dies. It seems like Daan is more of a jealous type than he realizes. So though he acts like he's got it all figured out—and he definitely opens Jacob's eyes to different possibilities—maybe he's not quite so sure of himself after all.