Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

Brand-New Officer. Salary: $26,000 

You've just graduated from the NACHO academy for animal control officers and you couldn't be more proud of your uniform and your badge. You look forward to many years as an animal control officer—despite the fact that you're allergic to dogs. Pass the Claritin.

2
25%

Junior Officer. Salary: $29,000

Four puppies are stuck under a house with their injured mother. You save the puppies but are unable to save the mother dog; and since the pups haven't been weaned, you're not sure they'll survive long. It's days like this that you wish you'd gone into another line of work.

3
50%

Mid-Level Officer and Town Hero. Salary: $30,000

You save seventeen cats from a neglectful household and get called a hero by the local paper. Which would be great, except now you have to find homes for seventeen cats. You give the task to the rookie, who is more than happy to prove to an old pro that she's capable. It's kind of cool to have someone look up to you.

4
75%

High-Level Officer. Salary: $33,000

You rescue four pit bulls from a would-be dog-fighting ring and get their owner arrested. It's tough to testify in court, but you're glad that the dogs are safe and their owner is going to go to jail. It almost makes the paperwork worthwhile.

5
95%

Senior Officer. Salary: $35,000

A hungry black bear terrorizes a small neighborhood. As the senior officer, you're the obvious choice to go tag the bear with a tranquilizer, pop it in your van, and whisk it back to the wilderness like it's no big deal. You wouldn't admit it in front of the junior officers, but tagging that bear was kind of cool.