Salary

Average Salary: $72,710

Expected Lifetime Earnings: $3,035,497


While there is a definite pay issue in America's schools―some teachers end up taking home less than the kids with sick after-school jobs―the school counselor is one of the better-paid positions (source). At an average of almost $73,000, you'll likely get to avoid all those why do I still put up with this? questions that most of your co-workers will be asking themselves every morning (especially weekends) (source). 

It also helps that you've been able to pay off all those student loans you built up educating yourself while the rest of the staff is busy selling their blood and hair to make ends meet.

 
You take the blood, sweat, and tears; we'll take the cash. (Source)

At this rate, you'll be one of the better paid staff members at your school. At $87,000 a year, principals are still number one, but while empathy is (hopefully) important to them, they're also getting paid to maintain order through discipline, which isn't necessarily your thing (source). 

The average K-12 teachers will be far away in the mid-$40,000s (source). And you're even way ahead of those other "specialty" faculty members, like the librarian ($55,000), school nurse ($57,000), and the Phys Ed teacher ($63,000).

So why do you get paid so much more than most everyone else at the faculty holiday party? Well, a lot of your pay grade comes from the fact that you're a specialist who had to train for twice-to-three times as long as most other educational professionals. 

Some of it comes from the fact that while many people aren't accustomed to or capable of working with students with learning disabilities, you'll be working with them on a regular basis. And of course, there's that little extra that comes from the fact that when teachers have a real problem child, they send them directly to you.

At least with your salary you can stock up on aspirin.