Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

Apprentice Embalmer. Salary: $25,000 or less 

You've just left Mortuary School, and now you've entered the wide world of funeral services. You sign on to apprentice a master embalmer in a local funeral parlor. This means that, among other things, you go on a lot of coffee runs.

2
25%

Trade Embalmer. Salary: $35,000 

You work as your own employee now, answering calls wherever the deceased may be. You may be asked to retrieve the bodies too. You worry about any questions people may ask about your job, until you realize no one ever talks to the guy driving the hearse.

3
50%

Seasoned Embalmer. Salary: $45,000 

Quite a stable career you've built yourself. You've got a steady gig at one of the better funeral parlors in the state. There's even a skylight in your office, giving you a little breath of fresh sun every once in a while.

4
75%

Funeral Director. Salary: $60,000 

Being in charge is stressful, but worth it. The final moments these families will have with their loved ones are all up to you. You hug thousands of people per year, and are totally okay with it.

5
95%

Luxury Funeral Director. Salary $80,000 

As much as they try to buy their way out of it, even the rich can't escape death. So they'll go out fabulously, whether that means being laid to rest on the top of a mountain or being buried in their favorite Lamborghini. You make commission on all of that.