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Bell Curve


Stick Figurist. Salary: $10,000 

Every week you send a new drawing to The New Yorker for use in their legendary magazine, and today's the day you get your response. This week you finally get something different from the usual rejection—well, you still get that, but this time they included a smarmy picture of a man holding a stop sign. You just got New Yorker'd.


Freelance Webustrator. Salary: $25,000 

After putting the finishing touches on an incredible dinosaur graphic, you call up the website owner to ask where he wants you to mail the drawing. He replies by asking why you're calling him on a phone and not facetiming instead, then says you can obviously upload the data file to the cloud so he can grab it. You slowly realize that art class at the community center didn't fill in all the blanks.


Pretty Picture Factory. Salary: $45,000 

Your corporate job with a marketing firm demands that you work a little faster than your usual lethargic pace. Now your character rate is up, but the comfort level of your fingers and wrists is approaching unbearable. It may pay the bills, but you're going to have to choose between your day job and your nights spent as a lounge pianist (decisions, decisions).


Masterus Illustratum. Salary: $65,000 

Being part of a team of comic book artists means that you don't get to make all of the decisions. But it also means that Randall doesn't always get to have his lame hippo with its bad water-mammal-related humor in every frame. It's all about the greater good.


Storyboard Picasso. Salary: $80,000 

Your graphic novel about the superspy with a heart of gold (but the brains of a bunny) is selling like hotcakes. At your signing, people show up actually wearing the same costume rabbit ears your character wears throughout his adventures. You try not to spill a tear on any of the pages you sign.