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Bell Curve


International Immuno-Intern. Salary: $45,000 

You graduated at the top of your class and have decided to spend two years treating disease in underdeveloped nations. You're learning a lot about humanity and how lucky you are to have grown up where you did. This motivates you to work as hard as you can to keep people healthy.


Affable Allergist. Salary: $160,000 

You open your own practice as an allergist, thinking your immunology skills coupled with your quick wit will surely keep your new office up and running. Turns out people don't like listening to your jokes when they're covered in allergen samples that make them itch all over.


Health Commissioner. Salary: $200,000 

You're given the job of Health Commissioner for New York City. You hit the ground running with a crusade to get nutritional facts listed on fast food menus, tax cigarettes to make them unaffordable, and outlaw soft drinks over thirty ounces. You're not the most well-liked commissioner in history (people loved their Big Gulps), but the people don't mind their shrinking waistlines.


Director of the CDC. Salary: $300,000 

After the outstanding success of your commissionership in the Big Apple, you're selected to run the CDC. You decide to focus on controlling flu outbreaks across the nation, fighting to get all kids vaccinated, no matter the cost. Your lab days studying the disease itself are far behind you, but you relish in the thought of a flu-free nation.


President of Vacciplax. Salary: $500,000+ 

Following your stint at the CDC, you've taken over one of the largest vaccination producers in the country. Now you get to direct the research into new vaccines and manage their introduction to the public. You're the alpha and omega of vaccination creation. And you even get to pop down to the labs every once in a while to put on the ol' coat and check out some samples.