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Judge

Power

All people are equal before the law, but some people are more equal than others, like judges. In their capacities as judicial officers, judges are absolutely immune from suit, meaning that they can run into lawyers without taking damage and earn 1UPs for every lawyer they take out after they knock out ten. Actually, it means that judges can, say, order parties to be hauled into court kicking and screaming, maybe jab at lawyers with their ice cream cones, or otherwise act like a jerk without fear of a future lawsuit.

Think everyone is entitled to an opinion? Can just anyone annihilate entrenched societal customs or entire profit margins for multibillion-dollar corporations with careless flicks of the wrist? Didn’t think so.

Additionally, inherent in the judicial power is what is called, well, inherent judicial power, namely the contempt power of a court to control the parties before it like puppets. It’s like the best relationship you could be in with someone. You don’t have to worry about being interrupted, being cheated on, you can tell lawyers to jump at your command, and if they don’t, you have the power to put them in jail for up to one minute short of six months without bail...and still call you “Your Honor.” Talk about being the dominant one. No one ever said with great power didn’t come great fun.

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