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Bell Curve


You love to sing show tunes in the shower. Lately, you've become obsessed with the liquid notes of "Try to Remember" from The Fantasticks. You're the third verse. Your mate is on her last nerve. So you're tone-deaf—why should that matter?


You got the lead "adult" role in your 11th-grader's school musical, My Fair Lady. You just know your Professor "'enry 'iggins" will take the role to new heights. He just has a few lines here and there, yeah? But you had to learn the hard way. The orchestra was faultless. You were not. You kept forgetting your lines, and the orchestra raced off without you.


Doing double-duty as waitress/cabaret performer at a local dinner theater was sapping your energy. One shift serving beers and burgers and steaks. One shift doing cabaret tunes. Six days a week. But one day, the chef built and you served the better burger to—gosh, it's so Schwab's drugstore—a talent scout. And the rest, they say, is history. You're now doing double-duty as waitress/cabaret performer. Right. Near. Broadway.


You're so proud of yourself. You kicked. Clawed. Stepped Over. Stomped On. Out-Sang. Out-Danced. Out-Connived—the Competition. Pat yourself on the back because you're an understudy in a traveling show of Cats. You're backstage hoping someone, something breaks a leg. For real.


You snared the lead role in hit Broadway musical that will run forever. It, you, your castmates are making a mint. Too bad it took you 40 years to become an overnight success.