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Public Defender

Bell Curve

1
5%

You graduated at the top of your class, and then you passed the bar exam with flying colors. You’re holding off on practicing law for real until you “find yourself.” In the meantime, you solicit donations for humanitarian charities at busy city intersections.

2
25%

After five years defending criminals who always wound up coming back, you traded in your job as a public servant for a lucrative gig: DWI Lawyer. Cha ching!

3
50%

Defending drunks paid the bills, but it didn’t fulfill your need to make changes. So, with the money you stocked up from defending rich businessmen and reckless college kids, you ran for mayor…and won. Now you are building a library, fixing roads, and making speeches at apple festivals.

4
75%

You are a Junior State Senator and things couldn’t be better. You have a cot in your office that you sleep on every night, and you manage to snag a lot of free dinners.

5
95%

You are the POTUS (that’s the text message version for President).

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