Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

It's your first day as principal. Within five minutes you have to put the place on lock down because you mistake a PTA mom carrying a giant piñata for a trespasser with a bomb. Your mistake turns nasty when the kids find out you destroyed the piñata with all of their candy. They hate you now.

2
25%

The kids talk you into sitting in the dunk tank at the annual school carnival. Unfortunately you can't swim.

3
50%

You hire a new football coach mid-season to take over the team. It's not a popular move at first, until the team starts winning. You quickly go from zero to hero.

4
75%

You talk J. Lo into giving a benefit concert at your school (since her son is one of your students). In exchange for her cooperation, you promise to have sushi and organic salads replace the regular school lunches for the rest of the year. Everybody's happy, and with the money raised you can now afford to upgrade the technology in classrooms across campus. It's a win-win.

5
95%

You get voted Principal of the Decade and get to visit the White House, where you get a meet and greet with the President. You're already clearing space on your desk for the photos from the awards ceremony.