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Bell Curve


Zoo Intern. Salary: $15,000 or less 

You work part-time at a local zoo because you really love animals. You're spending most of your time on pregnancy watch, ready to alert the vet if any babies start popping out. You tried to deliver one on your own once, but you left such a mess that they've asked you not to do that again.


Novice Zookeeper. Salary: $25,000 

You earned a degree in biology and now you oversee all of the hooved animals for a zoo in a mid-sized city on the east coast. It's your responsibility to see to the needs of every zebra, llama, and ram on campus. You imagine that if you ever get fired, you'll just saddle one up and ride off into the sunset.


Wildlife Professional. Salary: $35,000 

You spend half of your time working at the Philadelphia Zoo, and the other half speaking at conferences on wildlife preservation. Each engagement that brings you in to speak includes a delicious meal and a nice check. You bring half of each back to the zoo to give to animals in need.


Zoo Conservationist. Salary: $45,000 

You're the director of an open range animal conservatory in Florida. It's the closest you can get to going on a safari without going to Africa. You just hope none of the animals ever gets off the preservation, because the senior citizens at the retirement centers in the area will not do well against some of the larger carnivores.


Prominent Wildlife Preserver. Salary: $55,000 

You're the head of a gigantic preservation society. You travel to zoos all over the world, interacting with animals and zookeepers and conducting all manner of presentations on preserving habitats. It's a huge hit everywhere you go—especially in the monkey room. They really dig your wacky arm movements and funny faces.