1964 RNC Presidential Nomination Acceptance Speech Summary

Brief Summary

The Set-Up

Senator Barry Goldwater from Arizona is making a go at the POTUSship, but before he can set up his kachina doll collection in the Oval Office, he has to convince the American people to vote him in. He's already gotten the nomination from his Republican Party… but there are a bunch of GOPers who voted for the other guys, so he's going to have to win their hearts and minds, too.

  

The Text

Why is Barry preaching about Republicanism to a room full of… Republicans?

Because just like Easter eggs, not all Republicans are the same, and the Senator wanted to put forth his own vision of conservatism and see how many of those eggs he could get to jump into his Republican basket.

Wait… that's a weird metaphor.

Anyway, he's trying to collect those eggs (just go with it; now we're committed) using the tried-and-true unite-and-destroy approach. It kinds of reminds us of an infomercial.

First, he unites his audience behind an inspiring, uplifting, freedom-heavy-yet-still-slightly-vague vision of Republicanism and a Republican future. Freedom. Liberty. Diversity. Peace. Prosperity. So much good stuff.

But wait, there's more.

If we act now, not only will we get the amazing and shiny Republican future, but we'll also, at no extra charge, have a chance to defeat communism, liberalism, tyranny, and all of the other stagnated swamp stuff that the Democratic Party stands for. You know, according to Goldwater.

No substitutions. Offer expires November 3, 1964.

TL;DR

Communism and liberalism are the disease, and Republicanism, served Goldwater-style, is the cure.