Interview with Shu and Tefnut
Shu to Tefnut
August 3, 5:30 AM
(Shu) Happy New Year, beautiful. Where are you?
(Tefnut) Other side of the planet. Didn't want to rain on Ramses' parade.
(Shu) That's sweet of you. Maybe a soft rain over a romantic dinner?
(Tefnut) rawr. I'll be there. Six?
(Shu) Make it nine, they'll be up dancing late.
August 3, 9:15 PM
(Shu) Where are you now?
(Tefnut) South America. Jungle needs watering.
(Shu) But dinner's getting cold!
(Tefnut) Stop blowing on it, silly.
(Shu) LOL. I'll wait up.
Tefnut to Shu
August 3, 10:15 PM
(Tefnut) Sorry I'm not home yet.
(Shu) What's wrong?
(Tefnut) Forest fire in Greece. Lots of sheep in flames.
(Shu) So? Pick up a few. Rack of lamb sounds great.
(Tefnut) If all the sheep burn up, the Greeks will starve this winter.
(Shu) Why are you so nice to everybody but me?
(Tefnut) Don't be jealous. I'm on my way.
(Shu) That's what you told me last winter. I had to go all the way to Nubia to find you!
(Tefnut) Gotta go! Fire BRB
Shu to Geb
August 3, 10:45 PM
(Shu) Son, have you seen your mother?
(Geb) Yes. She's watering Greece.
(Shu) Oh, all right.
(Geb) She late again?
(Shu) When is she not late?
(Geb) Better late than never. Don't worry, Dad. She loves you.
(Shu) Well, you didn't worry about Nut and she went off with Ra.
(Geb) Don't remind me.
(Shu) Ha.
(Geb) I'll tell her to hurry it up.
(Shu) Thanks. You're a great sun.
(Geb) WHAT?
(Shu) Son! Son. Stupid autocorrect.
(Geb) I don't want to hear any more about the sun. Or stupid Ra!
(Shu) I'm sorry!
Shu to Tefnut
August 3, 11:30 PM
(Shu) Should I bother to wait up any longer?
(Tefnut) I'm on my way back right now. Fire's out. Egyptians asleep yet?
(Shu) Mostly they're drunk. But the fields could use a rain, and so could I.
(Tefnut) Oh baby.
(Shu) Get back here, before I fall asleep then!
(Tefnut) K. See you in a few, darling. Why is Geb texting me now?
(Shu) Nevermind.