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TSI Writing: Improving Concision in a Sentence 4 Views


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Description:

Think about how you would rewrite the following sentences according to the directions given, and then choose the best answer for each. Keep in mind that your revision should not change the meaning of the original sentence.

Susannah is a nice but


Transcript

00:03

All right say writing bumpers another sentence right in your

00:06

face Here Susannah is a nice girl but she is

00:10

a bit flighty Rewrite this one Susannah isn't nice but

00:15

what All right Oh suzanna don't be so flighty for

00:25

we've come to lend a hand here with this sentence

00:28

Don't you see Well to answer this question we had

00:30

to let a bit hit the cutting room floor Sorry

00:34

a bit and just keeping it real Choosing to go

00:36

directly to flighty girl will leave us with susannah is

00:40

a nice but flighty girl Yeah well this choice is

00:43

simple and grammatically correct and it preserves the overall meaning

00:46

of the original sentence so that's it we go with

00:49

a and a choice that lets us keep a bit

00:52

would have been preferable but neither she is nice but

00:55

a bit flighty girl that's just weird nor she is

00:59

a nice she is a bit flighty Yeah that more

01:03

dramatically Either She is a nice butt girl who is

01:07

flighty Not only sounds weird but it doesn't mean anything

01:09

unless well maybe had two teas in the butt there

01:12

but we don't go there Okay so that's it it's 00:01:15.125 --> [endTime] a and we're flatly shmoop yeah

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