Priest Career

Priest Career

The Real Poop

A career as old as time—or just people, we guess. Do you love Christianity, Catholicism, and the word of God? Do you wish there was just a little more love and kindness in the world? Do you have a charitable spirit? Do you have great public speaking skills? Are you not woman? (For all the ladies reading this article, we give you fair warning: You are technically not allowed to do this job. In some denominations, it's allowed, but you won't be recognized by the Vatican.)

We say follow your dreams, Vatican-recognized or not. (Source)

If you've got all of those qualities, you'd make a fine priest. This isn't your mother's priest's career path. A lot has changed in the world of religion. For one, this new, dope-as-heaven Pope Francis is making more and more people eligible to become priests, including married men (source). 

But seriously, most things have stayed exactly the same.

For one, you'll be living off the tiniest of salaries (usually around $43,000 a year). You're supposed to take a vow of poverty and live a charitable life. The money will be incredibly meager, but the church will also cover your living quarters, meals, health care, and transportation. Which is a lot better than people who actually live in poverty.

You will give Mass every day of the week, including Sunday. But there's good news: You'll only really need to write a sermon for Sundays. There's typically no sermon for weekday Masses. Additional daily duties include listening to a bunch of people's confessions. You'll hear congregants admit to all the horrible things they've done, give them a couple Hail Mary's to recite for forgiveness, and move on to the next sinner.

Oh no. What am I doing? What am I getting myself into? I need a priest. (Source)

Married people are also going to take up a lot of your time. It's not just weddings—there's marriage and prenuptial counseling, too. And that's not all. You'll help support the sick, the aging, and the dying. You'll visit shut-ins and try to get them to enjoy the fresh spring air. You'll go to nursing homes and hospitals to sing a tune, lead them in a prayer, or anoint the sick. And, not to be too morbid, but you'll probably perform funerals and burials for all of those aforementioned sick and old people.

There will also be happier times, with babies getting baptized, young kids receiving communion, and angsty teens getting confirmed. You'll watch children in the neighborhood grow up through all of the sacraments. You'll teach them and their families the catechism (a fancy word for Catholic doctrine...which is a fancy word for beliefs). And, when they start to watch Netflix and question their faith, they'll come to you for spiritual guidance.

Just when you think you've got some time to relax, you'll remember your meetings for the parish and diocese. You'll discuss church events, charity work, changes at "Home Base" (a.k.a. The Vatican), and all of the other stuff that goes into running the church.

And when you aren't talking to and helping other people, you'll be praying. You'll always be praying.

A lot of a priest's job requires travel. The biggest trip you'll take is your annual five-day retreat to evaluate yourself as a priest and get a chance to check in with a little old friend we call Y-O-U. Sounds like a vacation, but really, it's not. It's one long prayer session.

Being a priest is not an easy job. It takes patience, time, and a lot of skill. You have to sell teachings written down thousands of years ago to people as impenetrable as millennials! But, if you stick to those lessons of love and charity and kindness, you'll be making the world a better place.