How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Page)
Quote #1
I was feeling alone and lost, like there was no longer any reason for me to live. I went down to the kitchen and searched my mother's cabinet for the mortar and pestle we used to crush spices. I took the pestle to bed with me and held it against my chest. (12.87)
Sophie has what she thinks is a moment of clarity here: in order to make the virginity tests stop, she is going to take some pretty violent steps against her own body. She gets the idea from her mother's story of how the tests stopped for her (i.e. when she was raped). Sophie wants to take control of her own body and preserve her dignity, but she manages to damage herself pretty seriously. The wounding of her own body is symbolic of her feelings toward her own sexuality: that it is something to be feared and sickened about.
Quote #2
For months, she was afraid that he would creep out of the night and kill her in her sleep. She was terrified that he would come and tear out the child growing inside her. At night, she tore her sheets and bit off pieces of her own flesh when she had nightmares. (21.139)
Sophie learns the whole story of what happened to her mother after she was raped—and it isn't pretty. Martine can't contain the fear and anxiety caused by such extreme violence and it nearly destroys her while she's still pregnant with Sophie. This violation sparks a hatred of her own body and a lifetime of self-mutilation and torment. Martine will never be whole again, because her fear and self-hatred do not diminish over the years, despite Sophie's best efforts to comfort her.
Quote #3
"Now you have a child of your own. You must know that everything a mother does, she does for her child's own good. You cannot always carry the pain. You must liberate yourself." (23.157)
Ifé is trying to put a stop to Sophie's suffering in the way that mother's often do. She basically tells Sophie that whatever she suffered at her mother's hands was meant in her best interests—and she should just get over it. Ifé will later tell her that she doesn't need to take on pain that isn't hers. She understands that Sophie's upbringing has sensitized her to her mother's trauma, and that Sophie is very apt to suffer deeply on her mother's behalf—and to unite her own trauma about the virginity tests to her mother's rape. Ifé suggests that she doesn't take that path, for the sake of herself and her child.