Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

Cheerloser. Salary: negative $1,000 

You spend over a thousand bucks on hair, make-up, wardrobe, and lessons in order to try out for the team, only to be told you're out because you don't "look the part" in the uniform. Oh well, at least you learned how to do a proper high kick to a split.

2
25%

Rookie Cheermeister. Salary: $1,000 

The summer of training has paid off—you've finally made it onto an NFL cheerleading squad. You post a celebratory selfie online, but that doesn't vibe with team policy. You're allowed to stay on the squad but the TV crew is directed to definitely avoid capturing you on camera. Classy.

3
50%

Cheering Professional. Salary: $2,500 

The team moves your squad's practice facility to a location three hours away from your house. Unfortunately, that means you have to quit your job as a dance instructor to be able to make it to practices on time. Oh well, we're sure the kids won't be too upset that their favorite person in the world is leaving for good. Of course not. Kids are resilient like that.

4
75%

Veteran Cheerleader. Salary: $3,500 

The team you cheer for is headed to the Super Bowl and you're Miss January in the extremely popular cheerleader calendar. Not only that, but a little girl at the elementary school you visited said she wants to be just like you when she grows up. Things are pretty great—better enjoy it while it lasts.

5
95%

Cheerleading Coordinator. Salary: $5,000 

Now retired from the gridiron, you've moved on to training the next generation of team dancers. This means you get to help choose new talent from the field of hundreds of hopeful women. You try not to show how eager you are to use your newfound power, but you don't do a very good job of it.