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Ecologist

Bell Curve

1
5%

You're a freshman and your work-study job involves the culinary arts. You make food for the spotted ladybugs that are the subject of an experiment conducted by the mad ecologist of the Belleville lab, Dr. Frank N. Furter.

2
25%

You're a newly minted PhD and an assistant professor at Deep Spring College in the middle of nowhere. You're about to make a big scientific breakthrough in your study of the bristlecone pine as it relates to spotted ladybugs.

3
50%

You were denied tenure at that worthless college where you spent years of your life. Now, you are the ecologist in residence at Breakyrleg Construction Co., making five times what you made at that worthless college.

4
75%

Your investigation of the site of the multimillion dollar freeway project was the reason the work was given the go-ahead. You did tweak a couple of your findings so the project got the "green" okay, but you were thinking of the greater good. Transportation. Salary.

5
95%

You had a pang of conscience, revised your findings about that freeway project. It flunked. You were canned. But you now have peace of mind and a better job—as head of a government lab where you're making five times your old salary and you have the freedom to go back to your first love—spotted ladybugs.

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