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Bell Curve


You are a secret op for Al Qaeda who has pulled the wool over your entire country's eyes, and now you have ascended to the highest rank there is. You may be able to get away with it for a little while longer, but it's only a matter of time before someone is on to you. People are already suspicious that you appointed a goat to your cabinet.


Your name has become synonymous with scandal and disgrace. You were impeached after being charged with treason. Guess this will let Benedict Arnold—and Richard Nixon—off the hook a bit.


You get mixed reviews and manage to get the job done. You'll make an appearance in the history books, but will appear mainly in list form.


You have not only satisfied your supporters—you have actually won over a bunch of your former critics as well. You've increased employment, cut taxes, and at the same time somehow lowered the national debt. And to think that at one point you just used to host this little show called The Colbert Report.


You are widely considered the greatest U.S. President in history. You made our nation great again, solved all of our economic problems, and forged world peace. You also led the successful attack against the aliens which allowed for our continued survival.