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Bell Curve


Local Sportscaster. Salary: $30,000 

You're a sportscaster for a public access station in Cowfork, West Virginia. You report mainly on the local football team, the Cowfork Mooing Irish. They're not great, but at least it's a job. Broadcasting the Olympics would be a job too, but at this point you take what you can get.


Small City Sportscaster. Salary: $50,000 

You're broadcasting out of a small studio in a suburb of Oklahoma City. The good news: the station keeps people at work forever, so there's plenty of job security. The bad news: the station keeps people at work forever. So much for a "launching pad to further your career."


Big City Sportscaster. Salary: $80,000 

You're one of the newest sportscasters on the YES Network in New York City—obviously a great opportunity, but you're still a little untested at this point. The scariest part of your job is having to walk by all of the Mets fans on the second floor. It's not that they're bad people, they just don't have a lot to be happy about.


National Sportscaster. Salary: $200,000 

Since you're featured on a couple of the more popular and successful shows on ESPN, they finally give you an office that you don't have to share. You just wish everyone who walks by would stop eyeing you so strangely for getting your own space. Ah, you can shut the door—problem solved.


Legendary Sportscaster. Salary: $3,000,000 

You're one of the longest-tenured and most highly-respected sportscasters in the entire country. You're not just a television personality—you're a national treasure. Having your own fans is an extra special treat for you. Even Michael Jordan gets sweaty palms when you interview him.