King Lear

The first scene is set in England with two English Lords, Gloucester and Kent. Gloucester meets his illegitimate son, Edmund. Meanwhile the King (King Lear, as you might have guessed) decides to retire. He wants to split up his land between his three daughters: Goneril, who is married to Albany; Regan, who is married to Cornwall; and Cordelia, who is unmarried and is also her father’s favorite. The King asks his daughters to fight over who loves him most, and when Cordelia refuses to play this inane game, he disowns her. She, in turn, quickly runs off to marry the King of France. Lear’s irrational behavior angers Kent, and when he protests, Lear also banishes him.

Then Edmund, Gloucester’s illegitimate son, decides he wants to be evil. He schemes, and in this scheming manages to convince everyone that Edgar, Gloucester’s legitimate son, is trying to kill their father. Fearing for his life, Edgar runs away, the object of a full-blown man hunt.

Lear, now effectively retired, spends his retirement with his daughter, Goneril, her husband, Albany, and one hundred rowdy knights that follow him everywhere. Goneril has had enough of entertaining all these people, so she boots her father. Albany quietly protests his wife’s actions, but she’s clearly in charge in their relationship.

Now homeless (and still followed by one hundred knights), the old King heads to the home of his other non-banished daughter, Regan.

Kent, who is still banished, has meanwhile disguised himself as a lowly peasant (named Caius) so that he can still serve his King. The King sends Kent/Caius as a messenger ahead to Regan to tell her he’s coming (knights and all) to crash for a bit. Then he and the Fool, the King's own personal standup comedian, start on their slow and merry way. Goneril, however, sends her own manservant, Oswald, to bring a message to Regan.

The great race ends when Oswald gets to Regan’s place just before Kent. He delivers his message, and Regan refuses to read Kent’s until after she and her husband pack up and leave for Gloucester’s place. Regan doesn’t want to be home when Lear shows up at her door. Once they get to Gloucester’s, Kent fights Oswald and is subsequently locked up in the stocks as punishment.

We cut to a scene of Edgar, Gloucester’s son on the run, who has disguised himself as "Poor Tom," an insane beggar, all the better to hide from his father’s men.

Lear, having been redirected from his initial route to Regan’s, shows up at Gloucester’s door. He is super-angry to find his messenger, Kent (or Caius, as he thinks), in the stocks. Lear fights with Regan and Cornwall, who clearly side with Goneril. When they refuse to let their father stay with all his knights, Lear flips out and runs outside like a crazy person into the lightning.

Goneril and Regan go "Ha!" and lock the door behind him. Lear’s Fool heads out into the storm with the King because that’s what he has to do. Kent, now out of the stocks, follows them, but only after having a conversation with a nameless gentleman who informs him that there may be civil war-like tensions between Regan’s husband, Cornwall, and Goneril’s husband, Albany. Additionally, there may be war looming in the future, as France (where Cordelia is now Queen) could invade.

Gloucester doesn’t really know how he got roped into hosting this big mess, but it’s not OK with him. After all, he’s got his own family problems. He confides in his (evil) son, Edmund, that he’s going out into the lightning himself to save Lear. As soon as he's gone, Edmund tattles to Cornwall, Regan, and Goneril, which results in Cornwall stripping Gloucester of his title and giving it to Edmund instead.

Out in the storm, Kent finds Lear and the Fool and maneuvers them into a cave. They find the cave inhabited by – who else? – Poor Tom, a.k.a. Edgar, a.k.a. Gloucester’s good and unfairly accused son. Lear, in the company of a fake madman (Edgar), goes genuinely mad himself. Gloucester enters the cave, but doesn’t recognize his son. He brings them all (including Poor Tom) to a little shack he has outside his palace grounds. He says they should all run off to Dover, where Cordelia is hanging out. They agree, and when Gloucester goes back to his palace, he is apprehended for being a traitor to Cornwall. While Cornwall and Regan try to find out where Gloucester sent Lear, they pluck out Gloucester’s eyes. In a scuffle that includes a militantly moral servant, Cornwall is mortally injured.

Meanwhile, Edmund escorts Goneril back to her own place and starts an affair along the way. The two find out Cornwall is dead, and Goneril immediately worries that her now-available sister might get with Edmund, as he’s the hot ticket around these parts. Albany, Goneril’s husband, reveals a moral side himself, as he is horrified by all these goings-on and wants to avenge Gloucester’s missing eyes.

Lear, Kent, and the Fool make it to Dover, and we find out that Cordelia's French forces are going to fight with the British forces (Regan and Goneril).

Somehow or another, Gloucester ends up traveling to Dover in the care of Poor Tom, who is really his good son Edgar. Gloucester, despairing over his missing eyes, decides to attempt suicide, which is surprisingly difficult for a blind person to do. Edgar tricks his father into thinking he’s jumped off a cliff ledge, when really he’s just leapt onto flat ground. "It’s a miracle!" Edgar offers, clearly indicating this is a sign Gloucester should stop trying to commit suicide.

Now that everyone is in Dover, action goes down. Oswald (Goneril’s manservant) tries to kill Gloucester, but Edgar intervenes and kills Oswald. Before he dies, Oswald gives up the letter he’s carrying, which was en route from Goneril to Edmund, asking him to kill her husband (Albany) so they can be together. Edgar realizes his brother, Edmund, is a rat.

Finally, after a lot of fussing, Lear reunites with his daughter Cordelia, just before they both lose the battle against Regan and Goneril and get captured. With the whole war out of the way, the Regan and Goneril scuffle with each other over who gets Edmund.

In a rage, Albany demands that Edmund and Goneril get arrested for treason (i.e., having an affair and planning to kill him). Before Edmund can be taken to jail, Edgar shows up and stabs him. Then Regan dies, having been poisoned by Goneril. Edgar reveals his true identity to his father Gloucester, who is surprised, has a heart attack, and promptly dies. Goneril commits suicide because everyone else is dead. Before Edmund (who has been stabbed) dies, he reveals that he’s sent someone to kill Cordelia and Lear, and if they want to do something about it, they had better act quickly.

They do indeed act quickly, but are only in time to save Lear, not Cordelia. The saving is moot anyway, since Lear then dies of a broken heart. England has a need for a King, but it seems that no one wants the job anymore.